#we’re all rooting for you Phineas

[queenjulia11]

Okay, I’ve been sitting on this one for weeks. If you’d like to read my previous Phineas Thatch thoughts, here you go:

Let’s talk Imago.

This episode really encapsulates the “bureaucracy horror” aspect of Midst more than Sugarcoat or honestly even Inside did. The fact that Phineas incurred the greatest debt of his life as a small helpless child, before he was even officially a part of the system, breaks my fucking heart.

I thought Phineas’ single caenum was going to be due to some grievous mistake, some horrible sin that he had to make up for. Maybe he failed to save someone important to The Trust, something like that. But no.

He was an orphan, scared and alone with no one to guide him. And then, an angel descended from the heavens to give him a second chance.

Except actually: that “angel” was just following orders from people who never actually cared about him, but knew that saving a sweet-looking innocent child from The Delta would do amazing things for their numbers. Let us not forget that Phin comes from a place where the mutated victims of various tearrors go to die, and he looks relatively fine with no obvious mutations or physical differences. Was anyone else saved that day?

And yes, even if the motivations behind this mercy mission were soulless, it accomplished the objective good of saving Phineas. Except actually: they knew they were just pulling him out of the fire and into the frying pan. And they knew there was no way for Phineas to ever repay this kindness because HE SHOULDN’T FUCKING HAVE TO. It’s his LIFE.

How, in this world, does one make up for such a gift? After years of servitude, of saving other children, WHEN is it ever enough?? We know breaking even is possible, it has to be. What would’ve been the more valorous thing to do? Look up at your one chance of survival, stricken with loneliness, hunger, and fear, and say: “thank you very much for the offer, sir, but I’ve got it handled.”

And speaking of, think of how much valor was probably given to SPAHR for such a good deed! The thing that put Phineas in debt for the rest of his life probably did wonders for Jonas Spahr’s career and standard of living. I know he probably wasn’t thinking about that; he was also brainwashed into thinking that more Trustees means more universal good. I think Spahr is a good dude who genuinely did the right thing because it was the right thing, but would he even have thought to go to The Delta if his Concestor hadn’t brought him along? And then Spahr is the one who molded Phineas into the perfect Trustee wonder boy, ultimately breaking his spirit and forcing him to become someone he’s not, regardless of how intentional it was.

There is no other way that this could have gone for Phin, and he had no way of knowing what he was getting into. And now he’s trapped in this endless cycle of never being enough — never being free form a childhood too painful to remember because he was selfish enough to eat the carrot being dangled in front of his face. Really should’ve thought of that before ending up in that situation, huh? Oh, well, get your armor back on. Look on the goddamn bright side!

The only way out is to become in breach. Right back where you started. Holy shit, that’s terrifying.

[shadowron]

Bionetics & Bioware in Shadowtech for Shadowrun (1st Edition). Central Nervous System.

Now we’re really getting to the good stuff. Time to frag with your BRAIN!

The history of messing around with brain tissue is… not pretty. There’s:

Trepanning

Lobotomies

Phineas Gage

But – by 2050 they’ve figured out direct neural interface, simsense, datajacks, and so on, so maybe it won’t be so bad. And the CNS isn’t just the brain, it includes the spinal cord and the entire system of nerves throughout the body, justifying there being more neural bioware than any other type in the book.

Cerebral Booster

This one is straight-forward: increases your Intelligence (up to +2), The Lawnmower Man style.

This increase in Intelligence can increase Reaction, so stacked with the Suprathyroid Gland and Adrenal Pump from earlier, and with Wired Reflexes – this can push your character’s Reaction to disgusting levels.

Damage Compensator

Let’s talk about pain for a moment.

Sortez d'ici, François!

Pain is a good thing.

Ne me fais pas te le redire, François!!

Pain tells you something is trying to injure your body and you should try to get away from whatever is trying to hurt your body. It is a critical part of your ability to stay alive.

Unfortunately for shadowrunners, it also increases Target Numbers and reduces Initiative, and so really is quite a downer. The Damage Compensator is the first piece of bioware in this section that helps to alleviate this, modifying the nerve transmission of pain signals and allowing a character to ignore damage penalties (Physical and Mental) up to a certain level. For example, a Damage Compensator-6 would let them ignore the penalties from 6 boxes of damage (being Seriously wounded). This would not be cheap (level 6 would cost 600,000¥), plus, once you take that 7th box of damage, ALL the damage penalties are enforced undiminished. Oof.

Mnemonic Enhancer

This improves short- and long-term memory, which would be good for me since I sometimes forget that you don’t pronounce the first “m” in “mnemonic”. You really should, though, since it derives from the same Greek root as “memory” does.

Let’s try to make “memonic” a word.

The mechanics for this are simple: every level adds a die to rolls when the PC is trying to remember something. Whether or not this is useful in your game depends upon how well you’re taking notes and how mean a GM you have.

Pain Editor

This is cheaper but more dangerous implementation of the damage compensator. Whereas the DC only cancels pain and penalties up to a certain level, the pain editor bypasses it all so that they literally feel no pain.

Tais-toi François!

And gets +1 Willpower, -1 Intelligence. Unlike the DC, the Pain Editor can be turned on and off.

So, it’s a gamble – both the player and character know how much damage they’ve taken, so they can be continually pumping rounds out of their HK 227 until they are straight up geeked.

Reflex Recorder

As the picture demonstrates, these are modifications to the body’s spinal cord that “record” certain activities so that they are more reflexive: +1 die to an Active or Vehicle skill (or Concentration thereof). They can’t go higher than that +1, but it does stack with the existing skill, unlike Skillwires cyberware.

Synaptic Accelerator

We’ve seen a number of items that can increase your Reaction, but it’s not a real alternative to Wired Reflexes unless you get extra initiative dice – that’s what the Synaptic Accelerator. It’s not cheap: 200,000 ¥ for +2D6, more expensive than Wired Reflexes (2), but much less invasive: Body Cost of 1.6 compared to Essence Loss of 3.

Trauma Damper

We end with possibly the most useful piece of neural bioware and a better implementation of pain management than the Damage Compensator and Pain Editor. When the PC takes Physical damage, one box of it is shifted to Mental damage (so a Moderate Physical wound would fill in 2 boxes physical, 1 box mental damage). When the PC takes Mental damage, one box is just removed – so they are immune to Light Mental damage.

[takaraphoenix]

Isabella: Hey, Phineas, whatcha doin’?

Phineas: Ferb and I are building a giant observatory to watch Kermillian’s Comet tonight.

Isabella: Oh, that sounds like fun!

Phineas: We’re gonna put on a laser light show! And, as a grand-finale, we’re gonna laser our faces into the comet. That way, when it comes back in 73,5 years, we call all show our grandchildren! Oh yeah, my parents are cooking steak for everyone.

Isabella: You had me at “our grandchildren”.

Phineas: What?

Isabella: STEAKS. You had me at “steaks”.

Me: ISABELLA, I LOVE YOU AND I AM ROOTING FOR YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART 😭 😭 😭

[authenticcadence18]

in the spirit of the other anon: what are some of your favorite pnf songs?? 👀

AHHH MADDY PLS YOU KNOW I LOVE MUSIC AND PHINEAS AND FERB THANK YOUUUU FOR THIS ASK. 

ok so! favorite songs! I’ve got a ton so let’s just jump right to it (see what i did there? lol)

What Might Have Been

This is my FAVORITE Phineas and Ferb song, I remember when whispers about a “Phinbella duet” first started circulating mid-2012 and being SO HYPED (I was so hyped I wrote my own Phinbella duet, lollllll. maybe I’ll post it sometime). I waited literal YEARS for this song and it was VERY WORTH THE WAIT. I love the instrumentation (the strings? the guitar? the drums? the hint of Isabella’s theme at the beginning of the third verse? a A H), the lyrics are just so heartfelt and sweet and poignant (with just a hint of trademark PnF humor thrown in, lol), and the vOCALS GOOD LORD, ALYSON AND VINCENT KILLED IT. And the harmonies at the end. Bless. AYA isn’t perfect but I ADORE “What Might Have Been.” Like, they really gave us a 3 1/2 minute long song of Isabella and Phineas singing about being in love. They did that for us. Sometimes, I listen to it on a loop when I need to focus...or just because I want to listen to it. It’s truly just. The best. Ah. My heart. This song deserves more mainstream attention dANG IT. 

Summer Belongs To You

This song is so uplifting and positive and the beginning is a Phinabella duet of COURSE I love it (i deeefinitely made a lil’ reference to it in a certain simile in chapter 9 of CHFIL, not sure if anyone caught that but writing it made me smile!). It always puts me in a good mood and makes me feel like I can accomplish anything. And it gets bonus points because it features Candace singing about loving her brothers!! SBTY is also one of the episodes that got me interested in the show, so this song holds a special place in my heart. 

City of Love

This song ALSO holds a special place in my heart. Like, it’s so sad but it’s so good. I love Isabella, and I feel for her (and when I first heard this song I could 100% relate to her plight, LOL). This is also the first PnF song I ever downloaded! So it’s very nostalgic and special to me. 

Us Against the Universe

I ADORE THIS SONGGG I ADORE IT SO MUCH OK IT’S JUST EVERYTHINGGG. It makes me feel ALL THE THINGS. It’s very similar to “Summer Belongs To You,” but rather than being rooted in nostalgia, it’s like a reminder that the characters are still as present and united as ever. A couple years ago, I never would’ve thought we’d get to hear the entire cast sing together ever again, so like....this song means the world to me. It’s a great song for 2020. 

The Universe is Against Me

This is ALSO the perfect song for 2020, but in a venting way as opposed to an uplifting way like the previous song. I love the imagery in the lyrics (and like...they’re surprisingly real and raw for Phineas and Ferb) Singing along to it is so cathartic, I could listen to this one on a loop and not get tired of it. 

Happy New Year

THIS SONG DESERVES TO BE ON AN ALBUM. I listen to it every new year; it really captures the feeling of New Year’s Eve and the celebration of starting over (and also. uh. I will forever associate it with Phinabella and lovely Phinabella vibes because of that scene of them dancing together).

Busted

Busted is iconic. Plain and simple. I adore it. Love the harmonies, love the vibe, I’m pretty sure this was the most listened to song on my old iPod, lol. 

Somebody Gimme a Grade

I was (and am...lol) 100% the kid who had to have the best grades they could, so this song speaks to me on an emotional level. I also love the clever wordplay--like, “you wasted all my time learning how to rhyme then left me hangin’ from a treble clef!” is sUCH A GOOD LINE LIKE WHO THOUGHT OF THAT IT’S BRILLIANT. I also love getting to see Baljeet come out of his shell a bit and express himself! 

Happy Evil Love Song

This is one of my go-to songs to play on the ukulele! It’s just so funny and sweet (as long as you don’t think about what happens after it, lol). 

I Really Don’t Hate Christmas

THIS SONG. I LOVE IT. I love that it pokes fun at the “villains hating Christmas” trope while also subverting it! It’s just, so soooooo so great. I have a great time trying to sing it each Christmas season, LOLLLL. (because those are some FAST lyrics. how did Dan do it????)

That Christmas Feelin’

This is one of my favorite Christmas songs ever!!! It really captures the vibe and joy of the season, and I always go out of my way to play it when hanging out with people who might not know it’s from Phineas and Ferb! lol

In The Empire

One of my biggest flexes is being able to sing the entire “It’s sO NOT FAIR....” section of this song, LOLLLL. It’s just such a fun one to sing!!! (or attempt to sing....hah. Ashley has SKILLS.)

Ferb Latin

Ok, this one might seem a little random, but as a musician, I am OBSESSED with how the three melodies intersect and blend together at the end of the song!!! It sounds SO GOOD. (Plus. Phinabella duet. Yes. Are y’all detecting a pattern?)

Aerial Area Rug

So I’ll just go ahead and say PHINABELLA first because this song has MASSIVE Phinabella vibes (I mean it begins with a homage to the “do you trust me?” scene with Phineas and Isabella, that’s like pure-seratonin right there). And this song is also genuinely just so beautiful. It’s sung so well and the instrumentation is gorgeous and the lyrics are so literal but like, they work very well. (and that key change baby, I love a good key change!)

Gitchee Gitchee Goo

Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! It’s a classic, and super catchy, and totally reminds me of Phinabella even though in the context of canon that isn’t what it’s about at all😅. Also! Candace and Phineas singing and having fun together will always make me smile. I crave wholesome sibling interactions. 

Thank You For Coming Along

THIS SONG MAKES ME FEEL THINGS....I really can’t think of a better send off the show could’ve had. I love how genuine it is, like a love letter to the fans, with all the references and such (I’m a sucker for fourth wall breaks, lol)! And I mean, that Phinabella moment near the end is just MAGNIFIQUE, YES, FOURTH WALL BREAK, PHINABELLA KISS REFERENCES, AND PHINEAS FLIRTING WITH ISABELLA??? WE LOVE TO SEE IT. 

We’re Back

and THIS SONG. THIS SONG RIGHT HERE. I can’t think of a better re-introduction to these characters after saying goodbye to them years ago. This song really feels like a warm hug, a welcome home. The music video Disney released for it is especially wonderful because it incorporates scenes from the show!!! I always rock out to this one whenever it comes on. It’s a gift, truly. I love it. I needed this song this year!!!

Ok I could go on and on and on but this post is getting really long so I think I’d better just post it, LOL. Maybe I can make a pt. 2 sometime, LOL. Because there are plenty of other songs I love!!! 

THANKS FOR THE ASK MADDY I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS!!!!!!

[swynlake-spill]

I wanna know your Swynlake Secondary Student Dating Suggestions, Boba!! I'm here for your infinite wisdom!

Absolutely! I’ve run all students through a simulator and popped out Best Case Scenarios. Let’s get into it! 

Phineas and Pip: How many relationships began on the election trail? So many! It’s the classic business-partners-to-lovers scenario. And let’s be honest, if anyone can keep Phineas out of trouble, it’s Philip Seville. 

Finn/Nemo/Tae: im pretty sure this weirdo trio is already dating so can we just make it FB official already??? u know i’m all for polyamory as long as its consensual 

Wilbur and Mei:  He was a football star, she was a cheerleader...can I make it anymore obvious?? Wilbur isn’t really the dating type, but I think we’re all a sucker for this trope.

Tony and Haley: Well, most people are not in Tony’s league, but Haley did ditch the Ashley A last year at prom, and it takes someone with kick-ass confidence to do that. If anyone can match Tony’s chill, it’s Haley. 

Ferb and Su:  The hotter Flynn-Fetcher gets the other cheerleader! I feel like their brand of weirdness really fits each other, and this way we can avoid Qin-Adamson 2.0, which I know we’re all concerned about. My data suggests they would absolutely be one cool, quirky couple. 

Barrel and Dot:  Barrel is also mildly cooler now, and scoring a hot girlfriend will be his final step away from his problematic roots! Plus, Dot doesn’t know what anime is so that can’t possibly work against him. Maybe it will be something to bond over.

JJ and Dewey:  The leftovers! JJ seems like a total disaster. Dewey I literally always forget about among the brothers. So uh...have at it boys! You don’t have to date, you can just keep each other company and try to stay out of trouble!

ooc: see below for the first draft of this if u want to cry 

Phineas and Dot: Phineas is the brains, so he needs a little brawn...someone to kick him in the ass to get over Mei once and for all! Meet Dot, who takes no shit and could use help adjusting to the wild world of teendom anyway. She’s the new kid, you were the new kid...so much in common! 

Finn/Nemo/Tae: im pretty sure this weirdo trio is already dating so can we just make it FB official already??? u know i’m all for polyamory as long as its consensual!! 

Tony and Pip: While Tony is certainly out of Pip’s league

Wilbur and Mei: He was a football star, she was a cheerleader...can I make it anymore obvious?? Wilbur isn’t really the dating type, but I think we’re all a sucker for this trope. 

Ferb and Su: The hotter Flynn-Fetcher gets the other cheerleader! I feel like their brand of weirdness really fits each other, and this way we can avoid Qin-Adamson 2.0, which I know we’re all concerned about. My data suggests they would absolutely be one cool, quirky couple! 

Barrel and Haley: Barrel is also mildly cooler now, and scoring a hot, cool girlfriend will be his final step away from his problematic roots! Does Haley like anime? I have no idea. Maybe it’s best that she doesn’t, so she can try to curb that obsession. 

JJ and Dewey: The leftovers! JJ seems like a total disaster. Dewey I literally always forget about among the brothers. So uh...have at it boys! You don’t have to date, you can just keep each other company and try to stay out of trouble! 

[glasswingsndreamz]

Jealousy Only Breeds More Jealousy (Felix Millstone x Reader)

Fandom: The Outer Worlds

Summary: You just want to deal with the problems on Monarch so you can move on to the next task Phineas has for you. Let's just say your crush, Felix Millstone, flirting with the local bartender from Stellar Bay is not helping you feel any less cranky about the situation you're in. Don't worry though. Nyoka has an idea on how you can catch his attention.

AO3 Link

You tried to ignore the growing cluster of emotions that made you feel sick to your stomach, you really did. It was even more difficult to ignore the root cause behind it. Still you did your best to keep your mouth shut as Felix shamelessly flirted with the bartender who was way too into Tossball. You think she said her name was something like Ness… Wait no it might have been Nell? Not that it really mattered to you anyway. You were just going out of your way to solve a murder and maybe get a few bits out of it. You were not here, however, for your companion to waste time flirting with some random girl who happened to share similar interests with him.

It was ridiculous how fast Felix seemed to become enthralled by her when he found out how big a fan she was. As if there weren’t any other female fans of Tossball. It wasn’t your fault that you’ve been frozen for decades and weren’t caught up on all the sports teams out in the galaxy right now. You had things to do and there was no time to waste on something so irrelevant. There were people to help and bits to earn. This had nothing to do with the growing envy you felt with each passing moment the two spent time talking it up with each other. Nope that wasn’t jealousy you were feeling at all.

Really how oblivious could she be too? Even you had noticed by now how often his gaze slipped down to her lips. Was she really that oblivious to his attraction or was she just messing with his feelings?

“Well since the two of you are so busy I’m gonna deal with this Elijah bastard myself,” you finally interrupted. Without bothering to see if Felix was following or not, you exited the bar.

“Wait up boss!”

You could hear Felix telling Nell he’d stop by another time before hearing him call out your name. You didn’t bother to stop and wait up for him. Maybe it was petty and dumb to let something like this get to you but you couldn’t really bring yourself to care right now.

“I said wait,” Felix said, grabbing you by the arm and bringing you to a halt. More than a little annoyed, you yanked your arm out of his grasp. “Jeez what’s your problem?”

“Well shit Felix I don’t know. We saw a dead body not even ten minutes ago and instead of helping me take care of the problem you’re flirting with some stranger. Somebody is dead and we need to do something about it,” you said. It wasn’t entirely false, but it was a bit misleading about what was really bothering you at the moment. You hoped Felix wouldn’t catch on.

“She’s not just a stranger, and besides, she seems pretty cool. Nell’s the one helping us out in the first place. If it wasn’t for her we wouldn’t even know who to go after,” Felix defended.

You really really hated that he had a good point.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Can we just deal with this guy and move on?” you sighed.

“Damn right I’m right. Now let’s go kick some ass,” Felix said.

---

It’s a minor annoyance how Sanjar complained about you dealing with the murdering fiends in his district. It wasn’t your fault that Eijah and his lackeys attacked and refused to back down. As if he would have confessed to the person in charge that he killed someone over a money issue. At least Sanjar handed over some bits for the trouble you went through to deal with the murder in the first place.

The whole ordeal left you cranky and more tired than you would like. So you were highly relieved when you got to return to your ship.

---

A couple of days had passed when Nyoka confronted you.

“You are way too obvious.”

“Huh?” you looked up from the terminal in your quarters and caught her eye. The hunter closed your bedroom door behind her before inviting herself in and sitting back on your bed. “I’m sorry Nyoka but I’m not sure what you mean by that.”

She gave you a disbelieving look.

“I heard from Felix about the girl he met on Stellar Bay,” She said.

“Yeah, she seemed really nice,” you said, voice tense and no doubt giving away how you really felt about the situation.

“And you’re not going to do anything about it despite how you feel about him?”

“I don’t know what you mean…”

The look she gave you was not one of amusement.

“Okay. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m a mess Nyoka. I know I have no right to be jealous. I mean we’re not even a couple and he doesn’t even know I like him. It’s not fair for me to be upset over something like this. It’s so dumb, and I don’t know what to do,” you broke down, breath coming out fast as you rambled on.

“Woah, woah hold on there and get a grip,” she said in an attempt to get you to calm down. “I know what will help. Let’s get some drinks in you and talk it out.”

“Nyoka, please,” you said.

“What? I promise I’m not suggesting it to only get drunk. I have a plan I promise,” she winks.

“What kind of plan are you talking about?”

“I mean you could always make him jealous too. The bar’s the perfect place for you to find someone and get laid,” Nyoka explained.

“You can’t be serious,” you said in disbelief.

“Well are you gonna confess to Felix or not?

“.....”

“Yeah that’s what I thought,” she said. “Look, captain, I know you like him and all, but he’s not exactly the brightest. There’s plenty of fish in the sea and if you don’t plan to reel this one in then you might as well start looking elsewhere.”

You hated that she was right, but you still couldn’t help but feel minor guilt. It was ridiculous to feel even when you weren’t dating him but somehow it still felt akin to cheating.

The memory of Felix flirting with Nella hardened your resolve.

“Fine we can go out, but that doesn’t mean I have to hook up with anyone right now,” you said.

“Great! So you’re paying for drinks tonight right?”

[themurphyzone]

Kanto Gym Leaders as PnF Quotes

Brock: 

“All I want is one sweet, special Christmas kiss under the mistletoe.” (Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation). 

Misty:

“After that, I became the bully. And I wasn't afraid of anything or anybody. Except, you know, maybe a giant squid, cause-- Come on, those are freaky, right? All suction cuppy and beaky. But then, today...Biff and I decided to go for a swim. After a while, I couldn't hear him anymore. I got worried. (Voyage to the Bottom of Buford) 

Lt. Surge: 

“Okay, listen up, maggots! You are here because your parents are worried about you. Now, the way I see it, the root of all children's problems is unacceptable levels of imagination, fun, creativity and unbridled enthusiasm! Don't you eyeball me! Our goal at this school is to crush the dangerous elements inside you and replace them with structure, order, discipline and conformity.” (Phineas and Ferb Get Busted)

Erika: 

“In order to move amongst the ants without upsetting them, we need to douse ourselves in ant pheromones. It's sort of like ant cologne, which will make them think that we're one of them. But not too much! We don't want them getting too friendly!”  (Gi-Ants) 

Sabrina: 

“Well, I would have super mind control and use telepathy and telekinesis to keep you super-dweebs under control with your lame-o superpowers.” (Out of Toon)

Koga: 

“I picked the wrong day to stop carrying garlic scented throwing stars.” (Nerds of a Feather)

Janine: 

“We're ninjas. Ninjas are renowned for their quiet and concealment. We made an outfit for you, too.” (Quietest Day Ever).    

Blaine: 

“In order to cross my Bridge of Comprehension, you must first answer three questions. The questions will fall into three categories: arts and sciences, social studies, and what's hot and what's not. The answer must be given in haiku form.” (Excaliferb). 

Giovanni: 

“Isn't this place fabulous? I found it through an international lair exchange website. It's even got its own rocket. Y'know, I think I might've gotten the better end of this deal. Anyway, you're gonna love it. I was so impressed, I commissioned a whole new jingle!” (Live and Let Drive)

Blue: 

“But there comes a time when you don't wanna bully everyone. You just wanna bully someone you love.” (Bully Bromance Breakup)

[isidar-mithrim]

Asphodel, bezoar and aconite

Summary: It’s Harry Potter’s first Potions Class, and Severus can’t help looking at him, hating his unruly black hair – then, he sees his eyes.

{Or, my personal intake about Severus’s choice to ask Harry those infamous questions during his first Potions class. I find the alternative – that he simply wanted to humiliate him – as much or even more plausible, but I hope you’ll agree that interpretation doesn’t have the same flair…}

Disclaimer: This work contains several direct and less direct quotes from ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher Stone’ (Chapter Eight – The Potions Master) and ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince’ (Chapter Nine – The Half-Blood Prince).

[Also on Ao3]

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Asphodel, bezoar and aconite

“I don’t expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes…”

He keeps talking, but his mind is wandering.

He tries to ignore the compelling need to look at him – to openly stare.

Keeping his thoughts in check should be his specialty, but this time the thoughts take over.

Eventually, he can’t stand it anymore. He has to turn, he has to speak to him.

“Potter!” he says suddenly. “What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?”

He scans his unruly black hair and his round shaped glasses, and he’s viciously convinced the boy won’t be able to answer.

Only then he notices his shining green eyes – and that’s why he gives him a second chance.

“Let’s try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?” he asks, hiding pain with sneer.

“I don’t know, sir.”

“What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?” he insists, hoping against hope to see those eyes lighting up in understanding – hoping against hope that it’ll be enough to relieve his sorrow.

“I don’t know.”

Three words, but they’re enough to hate him – because Lily, unlike him, would have been able to answer.

**

“Good morning, good morning, my dear boys!” said the Potions Master, Horace Slughorn, opening the roll call on the desk. “Now then, let’s see who we have this year… Avery, of course, Slytherin as your father… I taught him too, you know?”

The young Avery nodded with indifference, and Slughorn looked back at the roll call, running his index finger on the page.

“Ah, Sirius Black…” he said with regret. “A real pity you ended up in Gryffindor, m’boy! I believe Phineas isn’t very pleased.”

“Nor his mother, judging by the Howler she sent him!” teased with a grin the boy with unruly black hair and round shaped glasses.

Beside Severus, Lily rolled her eyes, but Slughorn chuckled.

“Very amusing, Mr…?”

“Potter, professor. James Potter.”

“Ah, you must be Fleamont’s boy, then!”

“The one and only. At least I hope so!” joked Potter.

Several students laughed, but Severus glared at him in disdain.

Slughorn then resumed checking the roll call, and his finger almost got to the bottom of the page before he found another name he must have considered worth of mentioning.

“And at last we have Mulciber, another Slytherin, of course.”

He closed the roll call without even bothering to read the other names out loud, but he sent a long glance toward a Gryffindor with light brown hair before starting the lesson.

“Now then, since we’re done with the introduction I want you to pay full attention” said Slughorn, jovial. “You must know that the first, vital step to become a good Potioneer is being able to recognise the main ingredients and to handle them appropriately, and that’s going to be the focus of our first lessons!”

Severus hardly resisted the urge to huff. Not that Slughorn was wrong, but he had hoped to immediately have the occasion to put into practice what he’d learnt on the books over the summer.

“To make the whole matter a bit more entertaining, I selected personally three rather interesting ingredients” Slughorn kept explaining, gesturing at three metal cloche perfectly laid on a free desk near is own. He apparently had a thing for theatrics, and even if Severus considered it quite petty, he couldn’t deny to be somehow intrigued. “Who’s going to guess which ingredients will earn points for their Houses!”

Slughorn looked hopefully at his Slytherin pupils, but he didn’t spare a glance for Severus. ‘As they are any better than me’ he thought bitterly, but then Lily elbowed his arm to caught his attention, smirking at him with challenging glint in her shining eyes, and Severus couldn’t help pushing those sour thoughts aside to grin back at her.

“Let’s see… what do we have here?” he asked, lifting the first cloche and revealing a bunch of tubers not much different from carrots, even if more pointed and whitish. Asphodel’s root, he reckoned.

Lily’s hand shot in the air, a toothy smile on her face. Only when she glanced at him and her expression turned in one of perplexity Severus realised he’d forgotten to raise his own hand.

Slughorn looked at Lily as he’d noticed her for the first time, and Severus didn’t enjoyed much the curious glint in the professor’s eyes.

“Yes, my dear?”

“It’s asphodel root, sir.”

“Very good, very good! Do you also remember how it’s usually utilised?”

“As a powder, sir. For example, adding powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood we’d get a sleeping potion incredibly powerful, known as the Draught of Living Death.”

“Excellent!” exclaimed Slughorn, delighted.“Five point for Gryffindor! Now then...” – Slughorn lifted the second cloche – “…can anyone tell me what our second ingredient is?”

This time Severus’s hand raised in the air with Lily’s, but Slughorn picked her again, even if Severus belonged to his own House – he didn’t resented his choice much only because he loved watching Lily’s eyes brightening in delight.

“It’s a bezoar, sir, and we can find it in the stomach of a goat” she explained. “It’s an effective antidote for several poisons.”

“Outstanding!” exclaimed Slughorn, bemused. “Five more point to Gryffindor! May I ask your name, my dear?”

“Of course, sir. It’s Lily Evans, but I believe you wouldn’t need to ask, if you’d read all the students’ names” she said with cheek.

Severus felt shocked and impressed at the same time for her witty retort, but he was thoroughly annoyed by Potter and Black’s laughs and cheers.

Slughorn seemed amused as well. “Oho! I guess I’ll have to keep that in mind at the beginning of the next lesson, then. Lily Evans, you said… as Luke Evans, the Comet’s manufacturer?”

“Definitely not, sir. My parents are Muggles.”

Severus didn’t miss Avery and Mulciber disgusted glare, but Slughorn widened his eyes in delighted surprise, his gaze too fixed on Lily to notice.

“Remarkable! Really remarkable, Miss Evans! Can you tell me what the third ingredient is as well?” he asked, lifting the third cloche and uncovering a violet compound flower that Severus immediately recognised as aconite.

“It’s wolfsbane, Sir” said Lily.

Slughorn smiled, delighted. “It is indeed, my dear. It seems almost foolish to ask at this point, but do you know what’s the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?”

“Well, they’re actually the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite.”

“Wonderful! Another five points for Gryffindor, then!”

“Thanks, sir” said Lily grateful, trying to bite back her pleased smile.

**

“I don’t know.”

Three words, but they’re enough to hate him –

because Lily, unlike him, was able to answer.

Because Lily, unlike him, was gone.

[noddytheornithopod]

MML Finale: Sphere and Loathing in Outer Space

So it seems MML is indeed ending for real, at least for now, because Disney hasn’t renewed the show for a third season. Not even a cancellation, ouch. I think people like Joshua Pruett are pretty rightfully upset at the situation (he’s shown his frustration on twitter), and if executive meddling was responsible for a lot of Season 2′s faults then I agree even more. Anyway, let’s see how the finale holds up.

I’m gonna be totally honest: that was a really awesome opening. Great song, great visuals, intense situation, yeah.

OMG it’s not Milo but the alien dude.

Lol Cavenpus isn’t amused.

“Sushi boy.”

The dinner gag again lol

The music gag with the sphere, wow. :P

Hmm, this is an interesting setup. The ion thing is still iffy to me but we’ll see how it goes.

Doof fucks up again, at least he’s been quiet so far

That was a nice Zack moment, actually. When you think about it, he has become braver over the show, even if it’s subtle.

HOLY SHIT IS PERRY ROOTING FOR ZALISSA

Cavenpus is left alone to suffer... until he’s not.

Theme song gag lol

“Perry the Platypus says we’re all going to die.” And then it’s try lol

So the idea is that everyone has negative probability ions and Milo just has more, but Orgaluth has ALL of them while nobody else has any? TBH I think I’m starting to see more things I’m not sure on. I kinda feel like the ions kinda rob people and specifically situations of their agency? Like, instead of ACTUAL bad stuff happening, it’s just a zap from the ions. I mean, that’s how it used to be set up, but now ions just zap something and something that was never meant to go wrong just does. Ehh...

“I am Mikey!” LOL, the old name returns.

Another good song actually.

Milo inspires the aliens to rise up, cool I guess.

Reducinator was from Milo’s Shadow, right?

Interesting plan, and it works! Also Diogee is giant I guess.

Zack and Melissa I guess are a thing? I mean, she kissed him lol.

Okay, so the show has ended... this finale was actually good? Most of the jokes landed, everyone was useful in some way, and the story worked for what it was. It didn’t feel like a bloated mess like the crossover was. Even Doof actually wasn’t completely annoying, he was pretty tame and they managed to use him somewhat.

Like I said, my only real issue was the negative ions stuff. It’s not on the level of the Phineas and Ferb effect which just makes no sense unless you want to break the universe, but I still feel like it kind of takes away some of the agency and actual interesting factors of Murphy’s Law. I preferred it when it was just “bad stuff happen” and we saw the actual causes and effects. Saying it’s all ions just doing stuff kinda makes it less interesting to me. I wasn’t too crazy about the Orgaluth storyline as a result, but at least it all actually worked out.

It’s pretty clear this wasn’t meant to be the end though. I can see why some might find it underwhelming or not very finale-ish, because it’s obvious they intended to make more MML. It sounds like Disney really screwed the show over with how little attention they gave it and just not renewing it.

Also, Doofenshmirtz... his arc wasn’t even really resolved? I guess they would’ve done more in a season 3 but still, him being good doesn’t really feel resolved. All they resolved was the Perry breakup thing, and that was done in a really lackluster way. Maybe they meant for that to also be a “he admits being good is hard and he accepts his role lol” moment, but that would just make it worse. So in the end, he was just annoying and there to remind us that PnF existed. Goody.

On a more positive note, hey Zack and Melissa are a thing now I guess. Also RIP to Isabella supposedly appearing in MML again (turns out they meant the PnF movie).

It is a shame to see how MML turned out though. What started as something promising ended up going wrong (ha because Murphy’s Law) because of neglect from Disney and a desire to stay in the shadow of their predecessor (which I also can’t help but wonder if that’s Disney’s doing). I really have to wonder why a show that was picked up so fast got treated so poorly, it baffles me.

So I guess this is the end of Milo for now. I have to admit I’m not really that sad about it ending, but more about the squandered potential of the show. Even as the finale was actually good overall, I still don’t really feel anything about this being the last of Milo.

[chiauve]

Algernon - Day 21

(Note: We are 21 days in and Jet isn’t awake yet omg how do I do this every time...)(But SOON)

           Gilmore was there to greet them when they arrived that evening. His welcome of his colleague was warmer than Joe's, but then Gilmore and Grant had been sharing correspondences long before the cyborgs ever met the doctor.

           "I figured we'd let you settle in for the night and then get started fresh in the morning," Gilmore explained, ushering Grant and Joe indoors. The rest of the cyborgs were in the front room and a round of introductions took place, though they had all met Grant before once or twice over the last couple of years, but he could never seem to keep them all straight.

           "I was hoping to look over the lab before retiring, if I may? Maybe take a copy of the plans for the 002 unit for some bedtime reading," Grant suggested.

           "I'll show you the lab and introduce you to Jet, though he's still unconscious. I'm sorry but I do not leave hard copies of my cyborgs' designs lying around. They would be too easily copied or stolen. I hope you understand."

           "Of course. You can give me a rundown of the plan of attack while we're down there, then."

           Joe took Grant's bags up to his room while the others dispersed, Chang to prepare dinner and the others to find something to busy them until then. Joe would stay the night with Francoise during the duration of Dr. Grant's stay. She'd earlier taken one look at Joe's room before he left for the airport and pulled at her hair.

           "How does this place look worse and worse every time I see it? How are you so messy?"

           "Honestly? Jet was the one who always cleaned up, not me. I kinda got used to it."

           "Jet's been gone for two years!"

           "It's been a messy two years."

           She'd all but tossed Joe out of his own room to clean up and prepare it for Dr. Grant herself. Joe hurried out the front door but still heard her scream when she got to his sink. He might have forgotten to rinse it out for the last couple of weeks. Two years of not having an angry six-foot-plus American after you when you didn't clean up tended to make one careless.

           That was one of the reasons Joe never realized Jet's hair was dyed. When he was done with the sink it was immaculate. Clean sink, clean shower, swept floor, but otherwise Jet's bed was unmade and he had a habit of tossing his pants wherever.

           The house hadn't been the same without Jet's clothes showing up in random places.

           Joe placed Grant's bags on the bed and hurried back downstairs, catching up with the two professors as they descended into the underground laboratories. Gilmore glanced back at him and Joe just shrugged. What else was he going to do for a while?

           Dr. Grant looked like a child in a candy store as Gilmore showed him the labs and equipment. He oohed and ahhed and wanted to admire and touch everything. Gilmore couldn't help but beam in pride a little.

           They moved into the battle room so Gilmore could show Grant 002's specs on the large 3D projector.

           "What I'll mostly need help with will be the construction of the body itself and the primary artificial organs," Gilmore explained, scrolling through the broken down sections of the cybernetic specs, "Even now I could attach 002's limbs in my sleep."

           "Are you planning on making any alterations to the design?"

           "Not this time. I'd rather not add extra stress to Jet by making changes he's not expecting. I can always upgrade him later; he's used to it. However, I'd like to keep the thrusters offline until I know he's ready, so we may have to temporarily disable the neuro-connectors. He knows how to override and refuel the jets himself otherwise."

           Grant gestured to the bright neon lines streaking through the framework, dulled only by the mechanics related to the thrusters. "Is that an accelerator? Like 009?"

           "An older model, but yes. 002 rarely uses it, though that's probably for the best. He wasn't designed for heavy power output of that kind and the accelerator is draining; that power is better used for his high-speed mode. The accelerator also has a tendency to disrupt the bonding of his armor. I leave it active though, you never know. One split second could mean life or death, right, 009?"

           "Yeah," Joe muttered. There had been many split seconds, Joe thought, and Jet still never used it. He could have saved himself using it when the two of them went after the nuclear warheads in space. He could have brought down Maximoff without destroying himself with it. Had the accelerator been damaged and Jet just never said anything? Had he been that low on power?

           Gilmore led them to a smaller side-lab that also functioned as his office where he could escape his sometimes very noisy cyborgs to work on his own projects.

           "Before we head up for dinner there's one last thing to show you," he said to Dr. Grant, and went to the containment unit in the back of the room. "This is Jet Link. It's his body you'll be helping me construct."

           Once moved from the Dolphin III's lab, Gilmore had placed Jet's head in containment and ran a gamut of scans and performed full diagnostics. He'd happily reported no physical damage to Jet's brain and that the cybernetic one was still registering as acceptable. Since then Gilmore installed a new pair of eyes and replaced the tongue and some missing teeth, as well as all the scanners, the chronometer, the translator, and the near-burnt out emergency power and oxygen supplier. He also installed a new transmitter and receiver but planned to keep them offline until Jet had been conscious for a few days.

           Aside from the fact Jet's cheeks were still too hollow, he looked much more like how Joe remembered him. His hair was a bit shorter, but blond and unmatted. Francoise did a good job combing it in such a way that the patches where his hair had fallen out or been shaved were covered. The dangling vertebrae were still there and made a macabre addition but Gilmore pointed out that there were some surviving nerves he would try to preserve so the damaged vertebrae would stay intact until they fused Jet's head with his new body.

           Despite these improvements, Grant took a look at Jet and stepped back in shock.

           "I, uh…" he stammered.

           "It's okay," Joe assured him, "I know it's a bit unnerving, but trust me he looks much better than he did."

           "Yes, of course. Excuse me, I just didn't expect that, I guess."

           Gilmore's brows rose slightly in surprise at Grant's discomfort but then shrugged. "You're brilliant at cybernetics, Phineas, but you always forget cyborgs involve people."

           "Yes, yes, you're right. Sorry." Grant still hurried out of the room once he was able.

           Joe smirked. "You make the weirdest friends, Doctor."

           "Let's just hope he's still able to eat dinner," Gilmore sighed then followed his colleague back up into the house.

           The cyborgs were banned from the labs unless Gilmore specifically called for one of them.

           This may or may not have been due to uncomfortable hovering.

           As such, they went about their chores, played the same board games again and again, or sat around pretending they were reading, or working, or doing anything but thinking about what was going on in the labs below them.

           Two years they thought Jet dead, but now the fact that he wouldn't be back and walking among them for at least another week was too long for Joe to stand. He'd given up trying to play video games when he couldn't focus and kept dying and now was just sitting in front of the fireplace waiting for Gilmore to call him, even though the professor was far more likely to call Francoise if he needed one of them.

           Still, among the impatience was an underlying feeling of happiness. Jet was alive and would soon indeed be back among them. Chang already announced he was going to make the American's favorite meal for him once he recovered.

           "What would that be?" Albert asked over his newspaper.

           "Chicken curry tetrazzini."

           "I was not expecting that."

           "Well it was either that or grilled cheese sandwiches but that seemed a bit underwhelming, considering."

           "Wait," Pyunma said, "you said his favorite meal. Don't tell me you're also serving…"

           "Yes. With the tetrazzini we'll be having alcoholic root beer floats. And some crappy chicken nuggets leftover from that fast food place in town he loved so much. I would never serve such a thing normally but he loved them so…"

           "The longer in the fridge and the more congealed the grease the better, yeah."

           Chang visibly shuddered. "And for dessert…"

           "No!" Pyunma and Albert yelled simultaneously.

           "Yes! Banana slices in milk with sugar!"

           "Oh thank god I thought it was going to be something deep fried again," Pyunma sighed, "I'm not gonna eat it anyway but still."

           "I'm pretty sure Jet will be the only one eating it," Chang agreed, "But I'm going to have to get the ingredients soon, I don't have everything here."

           Albert folded his newspaper and put it on the coffee table. "We could do that now, it's not like we're doing anything. And this early in rebuilding Jet's body I doubt the professor will need our help.

           Joe leapt on the idea. "I've been thinking. Jet doesn't have any clothes. We're going to have to get him some."

           "Oh damn, you're right. Anything of his burned down with the house two years ago," Pyunma said.

           "Well," Albert fidgeted, "Not everything. He had a box in storage, but the only thing wearable in it was a pair of slippers and his old AC/DC shirt."

           "Then we'll get that for him."

           "Uh, thing is, that was the shirt he got at that concert he dragged me to. We stood around forever to get a shirt and by the time he got up to the table they didn't have his size, so he bought something a bit bigger."

           "…You've been wearing his shirt, haven't you."

           "I waited with him for that damn shirt and it fits. I mean it's kind of snug in the chest but…"

           "Is that why you always wear it when Lucy's around?" Chang snickered.

           Albert glared.

           In the end, just about every cyborg piled into two cars and drove into town. They'd barely finished asking Ivan if he wanted to go when he turned around and glared at them. He hated his car seat and drove nowhere unless absolutely required.

          It was apparently too much to ask just to buy a couple of pairs of jeans and a few shirts for Jet. For one thing, no one could remember what sizes he used. The other problem was Joe himself, who insisted on getting more than just the bare essentials.

           "We have to show we care, you guys! Get him some stuff he'd actually want, not just what will do."

           "He likes to do his own shopping, Joe," Albert sighed, "and he prefers to do it by himself. I don't even know where he usually bought his clothes."

           "You could just give him back his shirt, Heinrich."

           "No."

           "You don't even like AC/DC."

           Pyunma walked up carrying a few jackets and vests. "Did Jet like plaid? I can't remember."

           "Only if you're okay with him singing the 'Lumberjack Song' nonstop."

           "That's a no, then," he said and hurried away before he got sucked into whatever Joe and Albert were bitching about.

           GB was next to pop up, leaning unhappily on a shirt rack. "Unfortunate question, my lads, but was Jet a briefs or boxers man?"

           Joe sighed and rubbed at his temples. "Recently, when he had to, boxers."

           "When he had to? Don't tell me."

           "Commando. Jet had no shame. I think I saw his dick more than my own."

           "Sorry I asked. Why didn't you tell us rooming with him was so horrible, Joe?"

           "Because then you'd make sure I was stuck with him so you wouldn't have to be."

           "Damn straight."

           "Look what I found!" Francoise cried, holding up a shirt as though it was the Holy Grail. It was a hideous collared shirt with tiny American flags printed on it.

           "Put that in the cart right now. I'm going to go find an ugly tie to go with it," Albert said and ducked away into the racks.

           "What about shoes? Anyone know Jet's size?"

           "Gilmore makes Jet's shoes so he can fly with them. Don't worry about it."

           "I'm getting Jet this cute pink toothbrush and no one can stop me!"

           "Those jeans are too loose, Jet likes to show off his ass."

           "…Why do you know these things."

           "I got him a brush too!"

           "I'm pretty sure this is Jet's cologne. It smells like 'I'm trying too hard'."

           "Jet doesn't like big sweaters, Franny. He wears jackets."

           "Too bad, he's getting a giant woolen sweater. He's going to be adorable."

           "Look at this shirt. It's got a little angry eagle on it. I'm getting it for him."

           Geronimo tossed a cowboy hat into the cart without a word.

           "We're not buying him a whole wardrobe, guys!" Pyunma shouted as he looked at the overflowing cart.

[somewhereapart]

Wings

For the OQ Prompt Party, Day 3. #151 Regina owns a bar and Robin is a regular who has a secret crush on her.

Roni knows what all her regulars drink. She prides herself on it – after all, it’s good business, and she may have fucked up plenty of other things in her life, but she’s a good businesswoman. At least she has that left.

So she knows that Sophie always orders an amaretto sour, no less than two, no more than four – unless that absolute loser Jaxon has gone and gotten his dick wet somewhere else again. Then she might hit five, even six or seven, and Roni discreetly calls her a cab.

Jasper always orders a gin fizz, because he thinks it’s retro and he’s a terrible hipster in entirely the wrong bar. Maria bolsters her courage with Long Island Iced Teas, and then finds a friend to take home for the night. Aaron drinks Patrón Cafe all night long, as he sits at the corner table and scribbles stories on napkins (he says it helps him stay awake, Roni very much doubts that). Henry always orders hard cider, and she feels a ridiculous urge to cut him off after three.

Finn drinks whiskey. Neat – with a glass of ice on the side, and a water back. Except on Tuesdays, because Tuesdays are dollar wing nights – and Finn never misses out on dollar wings. On Tuesdays, Finn arrives promptly at seven, orders a dozen flaming buffalo wings, and washes them down with two Sierra Nevadas. And then he orders whiskey, neat, with a glass of ice on the side and a water back.

And tonight is a Tuesday, so she’s watching the door, keeping an eye out for those deep dimples and cobalt blues.

Finn is nice to look at. Easy on the eyes, and a great tipper, and that accent of his… well, it does things to a lady, that’s all she’s going to say about that.

And she likes his taste in liquor.

She also likes his predictability, his timeliness. She could set her watch to Finn Archer on a Tuesday night. Or she could most Tuesdays, anyway, but it seems tonight is not one of those nights.

It’s 7:17 on a Tuesday night and the third stool from the left is empty.

She tells herself not to be disappointed. Tells herself not to be worried. He’s probably just gotten himself a life (good for him), or a date (fuck her, whoever she is), or he’s stuck working late at the shelter.

And she wouldn’t care normally (she wouldn’t, really, she wouldn’t), but that bitch Victoria had come by again this afternoon, with her pencil skirts and her too-skinny heels, and her offer of a whole lot of money to buy out everything Roni has worked so fucking hard for. That whole lot of money, and just a little bit of not-so-veiled threats of what could happen to said business if she doesn’t just agree already and let this silly tug-of-war go.

(Victoria drinks Chablis. Victoria is a cunt.)

The whole thing left a sour taste in her mouth, and she could really use a joke, and a dimpled smile, and a bit of overzealous yelling at one of the soccer matches she’s started to play on the TV with the best sightlines to the third stool from the left.

So he’s late, and it’s annoying, and she cares, a little.

She has her back to the bar at 7:23, when she hears his voice rasping familiar over the Stones on the sound system (she can’t get no satisfaction either, Mick). He says her name, “Roni,” and she smirks, and pushes the register closed.

“You’re late, Phineas,” she clips as she turns, and then all the blood in her body runs straight down to her shoes.

His lip is split, and his nose is bleeding, and there’s a rough red spot below his eye that’s already starting to swell.

“Oh my god, honey, what the hell happened to you?” she asks, and if she could hear the tenderness in her voice, she’d feel like an idiot, but she’s too busy crossing the space between them and pouring ice into a glass as he presses a shitty bar napkin to his lip to stanch the bleeding.

“What does it look like?” he mutters, wincing slightly as she presses the cool glass of ice gingerly to that rough redness around his eye. “Got jumped two blocks over on my way to get my bloody Tuesday night wings.”

She thinks of Victoria, of We’re trying to improve the area, Roni, to keep it safe for customers of fine establishments like this one, and grits her teeth. If this is at all her fault… (Guilt worms deep into her gut, churning and hot, and she doesn’t like the sight of blood on him, doesn’t like it, hates it, it makes her sweat, makes the edges of her vision pulse blue for reasons she can’t quite fathom.)

“Did you get a good look at the guy?” she asks.

“Guys,” he grunts, pressing another napkin to the thin stream of blood trickling from his nostril to the quickly saturating square held against his lip, and this is just ridiculous. Napkins aren’t going to do the trick. “And no, not really. I mostly got a good look at their fists.”

“You need to vary your routine,” she mutters – first rule of safety, never walk the same paths every night, take a different route, a different time. Whatever. Things men never have to learn, until they get pummeled on dollar wing night.

Finn scoffs a little, clearly not amused with her, and gripes, “Right, I’m sure it was my routine they were after and not my wallet.”

She rolls her eyes, and gives a holler to her waitress to keep an eye on the bar, then walks Finn around to the other side and leads him back to her office.

“Sit,” she orders, pointing him toward her desk chair. That anxious guilt eases just a little when she catches the way he smirks (and then winces) at the order.

“Yes, Your Majesty,” he murmurs, sinking into the chair as she fishes out her first aid kit and plunks it onto the desk, flipping it open and pulling out an ice pack. She gives it a good crack, then hands it over, and roots around in the damn thing for some gauze and alcohol wipes.

“You wanna call the cops?” she asks, turning back to him as she rips open a wipe. She mutters, “This is gonna sting,” and then she dabs the blood away from his nose, swipes down over the stubble on his upper lip, then folds it and wipes it gently over the split.

Finn hisses sharply (and his nose oozes a bit more, so she tips his chin up, back), and says, “I’m not sure there’s much of a point. They’re long gone now.”

“Maybe,” she admits. “Doesn’t mean you can’t file a report. And everyone around here has security cameras.”

His brows lift and fall, half-hidden on one side by that ice pack he’s dutifully holding to his face. She dabs at his lip gingerly with a clean square of gauze – it’s still bleeding, but she doesn’t think it needs stitches, so she presses the gauze firmly in place and watches the way the smile lines around his eyes deepen as he winces.

Those eyes really are so blue…

She’s never seen them quite this close; she and Finn have never been quite this close. Close enough for her to smell him, a mix of sweat and something woodsy. Close enough to see the silver streaks infiltrating his temples, his beard.

Close enough to become suddenly very aware of the warmth of his hand cupping her thigh, just above the back of her knee.

They realize it at the same time, they must, because those too-blue eyes widen ever so slightly just as she stiffens and blinks.

Well, this is… new. She should back off, should step away, should probably give him a hard sock in the shoulder for putting his hands on her uninvited. But he’s already injured, and truth be told, she doesn’t exactly… mind the warm weight of his hand where it is. It’s very low, not anywhere really… out of bounds. Except that all of her is out of bounds, because he’s a patron and she’s not a hooker.

She should really make him move.

Any time now.

Right now.

His thumb moves, strokes ever so slightly up and then down, and she forces herself into action, clears her throat and mutters a warning, “Phineas.”

“I’m beginning to regret ever telling you my full name,” he tells her, hand falling away before he gives her a proper, “And...Sorry. Instinct.”

One dark brow rises up, up. “It’s your instinct to caress my thigh?” she questions doubtfully, and the uninjured side of his mouth curves up.

“Alright, ‘wildest dream’ might be a more appropriate term,” he teases, his voice lower than it’s ever been before (they’ve never been this close, close enough for soft utterances and for his thumb to still be pressed against the outside of her knee, even with his hand back in neutral territory on his own leg).

She realizes she’s practically standing between his legs – is literally standing between his legs, and her skin flushes hot, her heart knocks twice.

She scoffs, “Right,” and shifts to take a step back, but she’s still holding that gauze to his lip, so she’s... sort of stuck here.

Not that here is a bad place to be.

“You doubt me?”

“Little bit,” she clips. “I don’t think I’m anyone’s wildest dreams, sweetie.”

He looks at her then, really looks at her. Eyes she could drown in, pulling her down deep, and there’s something he wants to say. She can see it in his eyes, in the way they flit over her face, the way his mouth twitches slightly under the gauze pad she’s holding.

And then he swallows and grimaces, tilts his head forward and says, “I’m swallowing blood; you’re not supposed to put your head back with a bloody nose.”

Right. She should have known that. She does know that. How she gets so rattled by a pair of blue eyes, she’ll never know.

Her “Oh,” sounds incredibly lame, but he either doesn’t notice, or doesn’t care, too busy holding out that ice pack to her and asking if she can take it for him for a bit. She nods, and they swap, and now she has two hands busy trying to ease his pain, as he uses one of his newly freed hands to gently pinch his nose shut.

It looks like it hurts; he should probably ice that, too.

“It shouldn’t take too long,” she assures him. “You’re not gushing.”

Finn lets out a little grunt of acknowledgement, and then he’s glancing at her again. No, looking at her again. Staring.

After a minute, he asks her a very stuffy, “You really dob’t tink you’re anyone’s wildest dreabs?”

Roni snorts – she tries not to, really she does, but, “Okay, please don’t try to flirt with me right now; you sound ridiculous.”

“Not flirting. Honest questiob.”

It is, she thinks. His sincerity has her focusing suddenly on his lip, easing the gauze away to check if it’s still oozing.

“I think…” she murmurs, because he’s going to wait for an answer. She knows him well enough to know that. She wants to tell him that she thinks wildest dreams are useless, and that the last time she was somebody’s, he ended up dead and they don’t want that, now do they? But that’s… personal. Too personal for a guy who comes in three nights a week to drink her whiskey and watch soccer and eat wings.

So she doesn’t say any of that, she just says, “....that we could butterfly this and you’ll be alright.”

Finn rolls his eyes as she tosses the bloody gauze to an empty patch of desk and nicks a steri-strip from the first aid kit. She needs two hands to trim and apply it properly, so she drops the ice pack on the desk for a second, too, and tilts his chin up just a little for better light.

She’s squinting at the little gash as he lets go of his nose (thank God) and says, “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

Roni freezes. Blinks. Watches crimson leak slowly from his lip as he moves it again to add, “Stunning, in every way.”

She swallows heavily, and he continues, says, “And you’re funny. Smart. And you don’t take anyone’s shit, which I like.” That thumb brushes her knee again, up, down. “And you’ve a very kind touch, as it turns out.”

Roni licks her lips and stares even harder at his, finally placing the steri-strip over the cut, holding it together as best she can.

When she finishes, she reaches for the used gauze, the steri-strip wrapper, avoiding his gaze as she tidies up. She’s not sure why, she just… didn’t expect this. From him. Tonight. Or ever.

He’s a nice guy, a good tipper, who drinks good whiskey and makes her laugh, but she never realized that he looked at her and felt all of that. And it’s not a bad thing, she just… she’s just surprised, that’s all. Caught off-guard.

His head dips down, tilting into her peripheral vision as he says, “I’m sorry if that was too forward. And maybe I should have saved it for when we weren’t alone in your office for the first time, and me all beat to shit. You don’t have to… say anything. I just thought you should know you’re brilliant, and I don’t come here just for the wings. Although they’re brilliant, too.”

She cracks a smile at that, risking a glance back in his direction to find him looking apprehensive and hopeful, and God, so fucking handsome. He really is, isn’t he?

Roni takes a deep breath and reaches for the ice pack again, lifting it gingerly to the nose that’s still bleeding just a little.

Then she meets those blue eyes, takes a leap and tells him, “I like you, too. Phineas.”

He grins, as best he can, anyway, and when that warm hand finds its way to that same spot just above the back of her knee, well, this time Roni doesn’t do a thing about it.

(FFn/Ao3)

[erictmason]

Top 10 Disney Cartoon Shows

Turns out that last list didn't quite get all the Disney out of my system, so I'm at it again.  Only this time, it's about Disney's efforts on the small screen. It's actually kind of hard to overstate the significance of Disney's choice to get into the television animation game back in the 80's.  Before then, whatever else one could say about its merits, animation on TV meant one thing: cheap (well, OK, that and "short films imported from a radically different era", but let's not split hairs here).  That isn't to say quality animation could not be found on television pre-Disney, but rather that said quality (both in the visual and writing departments) was rarely if ever the priority.  But when Disney came along, with a mission statement of bringing with it the level of craft that had defined their theatrical films (though naturally they were never really aiming that high), that changed, and animation studios of all stripes suddenly had a reason to pour a lot more effort into their animated TV shows.  I don't think it's unfair to say we're still living in the world Disney helped create, in fact, whether it's the overt influence many of Disney's shows have had on the newest generation of animators or else by virtue of the space they helped to make where such shows can exist and thrive.  So, with the reboot of "Ducktales", the Disney TV animation studio's first breakout success, having recently launched, I thought it would be an appropriate time to look back at that vast, storied history of Disney TV cartoons and pick out my personal picks for the best of the bunch. As usual, there are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quos if you will.   1.) It has to be a show made by a division of Disney Television Animation, not just airing on a Disney-owned channel.  That means no Lucasfilms, no Marvel, and no imports from, say, Canada or Japan. 2.) TV shows only, no shorts or compilation shows.  So much as I adore them, the current run of "Mickey Mouse" shorts will not be on here, sorry. 3.) It has to have aired in its entirety.  I feel like it's unfair to judge a TV show on a list like this without being able to see it as a whole, so as intriguing as, say, "Star VS. The Forces of Evil" is, it isn't eligible since it's still producing new episodes. With the rules established?  Let's make some magic!

10.) Aladdin: The Series (1994-1995): Here's a bit of irony for you: half the reason Disney ventured into television animation in the first place is that, at the time, the future of their theatrical animation division seemed in doubt.  Not long after, however, along came "The Little Mermaid" and the Disney Renaissance, and suddenly it was the television side looking to the theatrical side for source material.  Quite a few Renaissance pics got the TV show treatment as a result, but for my money the best of the bunch remains "Aladdin: The Series", mainly because it's the one that feels most of a piece with the original movie.  Part of that, of course, is that "Aladdin" was already a bit more suited to the adventure-a-week formula, since that's kind of where the roots of the original story already run.  But part of it is also that the ways in which the show expanded on the original's world were genuinely clever.  Pulling not only from Arabian mythology, but Greco-Roman, Aztec, Egyptian, and beyond, the show managed to deliver remarkably-solid adventure stories, few of which ever continued from the other but all of which worked surprisingly well together to create a world that felt remarkably alive and vibrant.  Sure, Aladdin himself remains a fairly uninteresting protagonist, Dan Castellanata can't hope to replace Robin Williams as The Genie, and Iago is a lot less fun when he's asked to be a constant lead presence rather than a humorous diversion.  But even so, "Aladdin: The Series" succeeded at taking the original's lead, running with it, and in the process delivering a show that felt exciting and interesting to watch week from week just to see what new corner of its world it would uncover.

9.) Phineas and Ferb (2007-2015): OK, confession time?  I actually don't like this show very much.  I hardly dislike it or anything, but I was never able to really get into it the same way I could other entries in the remarkably-specific sub-genre of "TV Cartoons Aimed At Kids Which Manage To Also Garner A Sizable Teen/Adult Audience" like, say, "Steven Universe" or another show that's probably on this list.  Nonetheless, I can't deny this thing is maybe the success story of modern-day Disney television animation, lasting longer by far than any other show on the list.  Nor am I unaware of what made it so popular: the strong, heavily-geometric character designs, the charming musical numbers, and the mad-cap, self-aware comedy.  It's that last piece I find most interesting, because I think it speaks most strongly to what helped "Phineas and Ferb" stand out from the pack: it's kind of like the kid-friendly version of "Family Guy", at least in the sense that it derives its humor less from the story or characters, who are deliberately archetypal, and more from its ability to use those archetypal characters as delivery machines for rapid-fire punchlines predicated on equal parts dry wit and pop-cultural reference.  In other words, it never becomes itself an "adult" series, indeed its whole perspective is an exaggerated version of childhood, but it does use an "adult"-oriented style of comedy most other kid's shows didn't really utilize back when it started.  That kind of unique creative choice can often do a lot of help a show stand out from the crowd, and, with four seasons, seven years, and over 200 episodes (to say nothing of TV specials and movies), I think it's safe to say that's exactly what this show did.

8.) Fillmore! (2002-2004): Man, why don't more people remember this show?  Following up on the renewed popularity of crime procedurals thanks to both the "Law and Order" and "CSI" franchises being at their peak, it takes the structure and tone of a 70's/80's-style crime drama and refits it into the world of Middle School.  Cops become Hallway Monitors, overzealous politicians become overbearing teachers, and Grand Theft Auto becomes bicycle theft.  It's that last part that proves the most amusing; since murder is pretty obviously not going to fly on a kid's show, the crimes they do come up with display a remarkable breadth of creativity.  Trying to chase down a graffiti vandal turns into a "Silence of the Lambs"-style criminal vs. criminal scenario, fandom obsession leads to dangerous sabotage, smuggling food into school is treated like something akin to drug-running, that sort of thing.  And best of all, while the show is entirely aware of its own absurdity, its sense of humor is 100% deadpan, and the result is that it really does play like a "straight" Cop Drama despite its setting.  It's a unique tone that is equal parts engaging and funny, and it creates this really interesting one-of-a-kind style that no other show has ever really tapped into, either before or since. Top it off with a great pair of lead characters-the titular Fillmore himself, a Good Guy With A Past played with a crisp cool to match the show's tone by Orlando Brown, and his reformed-ex-con partner Ingrid Third, another notch in veteran VA Tara Strong's belt, and you've got a great kid's show that's every bit as gripping as the shows it parodies, even as it also gets some solid laughs along the way too.

7.) TaleSpin (1990-1991): For the most part, it's easy to draw the lines that connect the Disney Afternoon's initial shows to the pre-existing Disney properties they're based on.  "Goof Troop" is really just those old-school Goofy shorts about domestic life updated to match with 90's-style family sitcoms, "Chip 'n' Dale: Rescue Rangers" plugs the titular duo into kid-friendly adventure romps, and so on and so forth.  But "TaleSpin" is just so weird in that respect: it may borrow three of its key characters from there, but it can't really be said to be based on Disney's 1967 version of "The Jungle Book".  Instead, those characters-or rather heavily modified versions of those characters re-conceived to fit in to the show's new setting-are placed into an entirely new world, which itself is something like a steampunk fantasy version of 1920's America, guided by the spirit of old-school Adventure Serials.  But the very oddity of its construction allows "TaleSpin" to feel at once familiar and new, able to ground itself by way of those "Jungle Book" characters you know and love (with the twists it puts on them being endearingly clever, like making Shere Khan a Lex Luthor-style corporate mogul) while also spring-boarding out into a wide variety of classic adventure stories.  Daring duels with pirates, high-stakes air races, and even the occasional flight of overtly-magical fancy...there's a lot of Tales to Spin here, and the show consistently does so with an admirably clear-eyed sense of its own genre and how to best play with it.  And again, it's all connected to a charming cast of characters.  "TaleSpin" is a tricky little thing to pin down, then, but for that very reason it's way too memorable to overlook or ever forget.

6.) The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1988-1991): "Winnie the Pooh" stories are a tricky thing to do right.  They'd been around for close to half-a-century even back when Disney first adapted the property into a trilogy of animated short films during the mid-to-late 60's, and that history, combined with the stories' enduring popularity, means we all have a fairly solid idea of what they "feel" like.  Moreover, by their very nature, the best "Pooh" stories are short, simple things with only the barest hint of narrative intent or moral center.  Which means trying to expand on them in any significant way runs the risk of stuffing them with more familiar story-telling tropes and styles that simply do not belong there.  So "The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" deserves a lot of credit, if not for dodging that fact entirely (as was increasingly common in kid's TV shows of the time, it made sure to center a lot of its stories around "lessons" in a fashion much louder and more overt than the source material), then at least for managing to make a show that consistently felt like it captured and exemplified the right spirit even so.  A lot of that, it should be said, comes down to the voice actors; not only did Paul Winchell (Tigger) and John Fiedler (Piglet) return to reprise their iconic roles after having sat out the previous "Pooh" TV show, "Welcome to Pooh Corner", but this also marks the first "Pooh" project where the title character is voiced by Jim Cummings, who has played the role in every other "Pooh" production to come out of Disney in the nearly-three decades since.  Their performances aren't just consistently entertaining, they also lend a sense of spiritual continuity that benefits the show greatly.  More to the point, though, the animation has an intriguing physicality to it that recognizes the stuffed-animal nature of its core cast, as well as a delightfully-poppy color scheme.  The writing, meanwhile, uses a particular blend of sweetness and humor that feels at once akin to the original Disney short films, but also distinct and enjoyable unto itself.  Wordplay, slapstick, and gentle philosophizing, hallmarks of a good "Pooh" story since the very beginning, all show up in "The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh", but the show always puts a just-so slightly-modern touch on each one.  To be sure, "New Adventures" plays in the same ballpark as more typical Saturday Morning cartoon fare, but it does so with the invaluable lessons of Pooh himself pretty clearly having been taken to heart in the process, and the resulting show is simply delightful.

5.) Adventures of the Gummi Bears (1985-1991): Technically speaking, the first Disney Television series is the short-lived plush-toy spin-off "The Wuzzles".  Meanwhile, the first real breakout hit for the studio was unquestionably 1987's "Ducktales".  But the one that first really established the studio, granting it the foothold from which it would build its future successes, is "The Adventures of the Gummi Bears".  On paper, it sounds very much like a "Smurfs" wanna-be, centered as it is on a tribe of small, magically-inclined creatures with matching names set in a vaguely-Medieval England fantasy world.  But in execution, it winds up weaving a remarkably-compelling tale with a surprisingly-dense internal mythology which it treats with an impressive degree of respect and earnestness.  That isn't to say it's some Super Serious Epic (we'll need to go a bit up the list for that show), but even as it keeps things primarily centered on kid-friendly slapstick and gentle goofing off (and does a fine version of it in both cases too), there is nonetheless an underlying spine of genuinely weighty world-building to it that adds just the right amount of extra heft to even the lighter aspects of the series.  The way our main characters, the Gummi Bears of the title, slowly but surely discover more and more aspects of their history and culture (much of it tangled up in an ugly war stemming from prejudice and distrust), all the while hoping for the day they'll be able to reunite with their own people, underlines almost every episode, pulling you in and often taking you by surprise.  As well, while all clearly archetypal (in the old Seven Dwarves tradition of being named for their defining traits, even), those characters are all delightful to spend time with, again thanks to a strong cast of voice-acting veterans like Paul Winchell, June Foray, and Bill Scott, and a dynamic that feels warm and lived-in.  Moreover, this is the show that Disney's TV animation really used to show off its skills, with some of the most fluid, engaging use of motion in any cartoon of the era; some episode are naturally stronger than others, but the best of them are genuinely gorgeous stuff.  It is, in other words, a show with an intriguing story that feels very much like the best sort of Bed-Time Story, inviting and friendly on one level but with a deeper center just beneath the surface to pull you in and keep you coming back, and realized with a strong, compelling craft.  So it's really no wonder that these "Gummi Bears" were, in their way, the ones to start the long-lived legacy of Disney's TV cartoons.

4.) Recess (1997-2003): There came an interesting point of transition for Disney's TV animation studios toward the end of the 90's.  The Disney Afternoon block, long the most visible home for their shows, was finally shutting down after a solid seven-year run, and a new once-a-week block, fittingly named "1 Saturday Morning", was rising up to take its place.  The block managed to last a decent five years, but very few of its shows managed to make much of an impact.  But among the ones that did, the clear front-runner, to my mind at least, is "Recess", a love letter aimed not only at the nostalgia of the playground but also to the iconic TV comedy "Hogan's Heroes" (compare the theme songs to both shows, and then look at the mix of archetypes that comprises the core cast for each one).  That mixture allows the show to present a vision of childhood that is simultaneously deliberately hyperbolic-the age-old notion of schoolyard hierarchies is here portrayed as a rich, thriving society unto itself, complete with its own king and economy-while still grounded in relatable ideas and characters, especially as regards the oftentimes contentious relationship between the students and teachers.  That latter aspect especially speaks to why "Recess" is probably my pick for the best overall show of the "1 Saturday Morning" era, too; yes, as is typical of a show aimed at kids, it plays to their own feelings by painting the teachers as alternatively cruel and inept for the most part (while quite a few episodes focus on the difficulties the kids have with their parents, too), but it never forgets their own humanity in the process, and some of the show's best moments stem from that fact.  Still, at the end of the day, it does really come down to that "Hogan's Heroes" influence I mentioned.  No real kid has ever assembled the complex schemes and adventures that are "Recess"' primary source of stories, but I promise you every last kid has dreamed of it, and by placing those scenarios in the world it does, where the audience can at once recognize how much this is an exaggeration but still grasp what reality it draws from, it makes this really intriguing atmosphere that sparkles at once with a kid's sense of wonder and an adult's sense of humor (a lot of the best jokes stem from sharp wit that connects a young adult's perspective to adult concepts like a full-time job or balancing responsibilities).  It's a style quite a few shows, cartoon or otherwise, have tried out over the years, but "Recess" is one of the very best examples of the form.

3a.) Gravity Falls (2012-2016): If you were paying close enough attention, you may have noticed something about the opening credits of animated television shows around the beginning of the '00's: series creators were being prominently credited.  It was indicative of a larger amount of trust and control being placed in distinct creative voices as the industry slowly eased out (or tried to, anyway) of the merchandise-driven business model that had defined it for most of the 80's and 90's, and across the board it led to some very distinct visions making their way onto screens.  For Disney, the example du jour is Alex Hirsch's "Gravity Falls", a show whose existence is all the more surprising when you consider just how very Not Disney its premise-kid-oriented "Twin Peaks" riff by way of "The X-Files"-really sounds.  And yet here we are, with a show that is at once a razor-sharp comedy, a poignant examination of what it means to grow up and what we do and do not have to leave behind in the process, and a veritable parade of some of the most off-the-wall horror-sci-if-fantasy mash-ups of all time.  And the thing of it is, the glue holding all of that together and keeping it coherent, allowing the show to build effortlessly both towards fantastic punchlines and deeply emotional culminations, stems from Hirsch: in interviews, he talked about how much of the show's premise stemmed from reflecting on the tourist-trap vacations he himself took as a child, and indeed, a lot of the series' best moments (an early episode centered on a haunted convenience store springs to mind in particular for me) succeed by tapping into that particular vein of childhood, where the simple change in environment that comes with vacation lends even the most mundane things an air of mystery.  By the same token, so too do the characters feel keenly drawn from reality (even as they do still possess a cartoon's foibles and exaggerations); Dipper and Mabel are two of the most believable pre-teens I've ever seen on TV, both in their own way smart enough to no longer be children but struggling with the greater maturity necessary to really become grown-up, Grunkle Stan feels like every huckster you've ever seen on TV right down to the niggling sense that there is a tremendous amount more to him than what we see, and the change in perspective the show gives us on Wendy, initially kept at arm's length because of Dipper's crush on her only to emerge more fully as a person once he recognizes her own feelings on the matter.  And then on top of all that, it's connected to a genuinely-compelling mystery that the show gradually teases out more and more, and those who are paying attention really do have an honest shot of piecing the puzzle together before the characters do, adding a new layer of visceral excitement to the experience.  But the real strength of the show is that those twists and turns, as much as they might pull us deeper into the puzzle box, are really more about exploring and growing the characters first and foremost.  That's the key to "Gravity Falls" above all, to my mind: yes, its internal mythology is uniquely well built, and yes, pushing the envelope on how genuinely scary/dangerous it's allowed to get is fascinating, but it never loses sight of how much its characters are the real heart of the story, and how much that fact helps this weird, wild mixture really come together.  

3b.) Darkwing Duck (1991-1992): Yes, the #3 slot is a draw, because when it came right down to it I simply could not pick between the two shows I was considering for it.  Leaving "Gravity Falls" off felt simply unacceptable to be, but neither could I find it in my heart to axe this, maybe my personal favorite of the entire Disney Afternoon era, from the list.  Because the thing of it is, when you really think about it, "Darkwing Duck" shouldn't work at all.  Superhero parodies were old hat even by the early 90's (indeed, at that point they probably outnumbered actual superhero shows), while spin-offs had long ago developed a reputation for being cheap-and-easy cash-ins (though the extent to which "Darkwing Duck" is, in fact, a spin-off of "Ducktales" is a touch debatable, I suppose, even as they share a handful of characters).  But despite the odds against it, "Darkwing Duck" does indeed prove to be a consistently entertaining piece of work, and a lot of why boils down to the remarkably-multilayered construction of its title character.  That isn't to say Darkwing is the only good thing about his own show; his rogue's gallery is an amusing assortment of pastiches of classic Villain archetypes-the plant-master, the crazy clown, the evil double, and so on-while the supporting cast, including "Ducktales" veteran Launchpad McQuack and excitable youngster Gosalyn Mallard (a character who, by rights, should be insufferable, but is instead genuinely endearing thanks in no small part to her voice actor, the late, great Christine Cavanaugh), is equally enjoyable.  As well, the show's sense of humor has an ahead-of-its-time sardonic edge to it that was nowhere near as commonplace in kid's cartoons by that point, but which here provides just the right level of sharpness to the comedy.  And the animation is fascinating, too, with a far more "Looney Tunes"-style sensibility to a lot of its best moments (which in turn informs the characters a lot; there's more than a touch of Daffy to Darkwing, but we'll get to that in a minute), while also showing just how far the iconic Disney "duck" design could be stretched while still being recognizable.  But it really is Darkwing himself who makes the show, because despite the core conceit being fairly simple-poking fun at the inherent egomania of the superhero by portraying one as a glory hound interested more in publicity than actual heroism-there actually prove to be quite a few layers to him when you really get into it.  For one thing, he's actually quite good at his job; for as many times as his inadequacy is the butt of the joke, "let's get dangerous" is more than just a catchphrase; it's a sign he's about to show you what he's really capable of.  For another, his sincere affection for and protectiveness of Gosalyn shows there really is a heart underneath all that bluster, and that if he could just get out of his own way, Darkwing might well be capable of true greatness.  But all too often he is, in fact, his own worst enemy (there's that Daffy Duck influence again).  It's all played mostly for laughs, sure, but, especially thanks to Darkwing's VA Jim Cummings, who navigates each of those layers coherently and effectively, it comes through clearly even so.  And it elevates the entire show to this unique, interesting place that has helped it stand the test of time. 

2.) Gargoyles (1994-1997): As established during our introduction, the entry of Disney into the world of television animation in the mid-80's was a real paradigm shift in the industry.  But a few years later, in 1992, came another, arguably even more profound game-changer: "Batman: The Animated Series".  Every last element of that show-its writing, its visual style, and especially its revolutionary craft-proved profoundly popular, not only with viewers but people inside the industry.  Soon enough, almost every TV animation studio around mounted a response: for Marvel Television, it was the "X-Men" cartoon, for Hanna Barbera it was "SWAT Kats".  But far and away the best answer came from Disney, in the form of Greg Weisman's fantasy epic, "Gargoyles".  From stem to stern, this is maybe one of the richest, most satisfying stories Disney TV ever crafted, and in stark contrast to just about every other show on this list, that doesn't come with a "but it's not as serious as all that" caveat.  There's comic relief, to be sure, but still, this is nonetheless an entirely-earnest Modern Fantasy Epic, comprised of equal parts deep-cut cultural/mythological references-everything from Shakespeare to Arthurian Lore to the tales of Anansi the Spider, all realized with a remarkable degree of understanding and specificity-and exceptionally well-structured characters.  Stoic Goliath, striving at once to protect what little remains of his kind while also seeking to do good in a world he struggles to understand; Elisa Maza, a sharp-minded detective who is always determined to stay on top of the situation no matter how crazy it becomes; Demona, a tragic figure consumed with anger and grief who seeks greater and greater means of destruction; Xanatos, one of the greatest masterminds of all time, always one step ahead, always a new scheme at the ready.  "Gargoyles", in other words, weaves an impressively intricate tale that inhabits a sprawling, detailed world with rich, compelling players, by way of some of the most impressively-intricate long-term story arcs I've ever seen in a cartoon show.  Whether it's the gradual transformation of Xanatos from inscrutable antagonist to complex Family Man (even as the extent to which he can ever really be trusted remains in question) or the slow-burn, exceptionally rewarding progression of Goliath and Elisa's relationship, or even things like the young, impetuous Brooklyn slowly growing up into a possible leader, "Gargoyles" hones in with perfect precision on how best to expand these characters over time.  Likewise, watching as the scope of the world, and our own understanding of it, expands to include concepts like aliens and mutants amongst its gods and monsters is impressive and fascinating.  And the series paces itself equally perfectly.  There is a genuinely organic quality to "Gargoyles"' arcs, both character and plot; it never feels static or overly obsessed with the Status Quo, but it also does not rush through anything.  Each plot twist, each character epiphany, feels earned, and all the more powerful as a result.  And, cherry on top, the animation is top-tier stuff; it is perhaps not as overtly stylized as "Batman: The Animated Series" (though its focus on night-time settings and a darker color palette feels evocative of that show), but the combination of a Disney-esque sense of character design with the show's strong narrative backbone leads to exceptional results even so.  "Gargoyles" may have been made in "Batman"'s image, but it wound up being a one-of-a-kind classic in its own right. 

1.) Ducktales (1987-1990): There are a number of reasons "Ducktales" more or less has to top this list.  Its pedigree, for one thing; drawing a lot of its premise (and directly adapting several of its best episodes and story lines) from the famed Carl Barks "Uncle Scrooge" comics (though notoriously, Barks' most famous successor, Don Rosa, has a less-than-sunny attitude toward the show) provides the show an exceptionally well-built and endearing structure.  Whether it's outer-space epics or intercontinental treasure hunts, espionage action or magical mayhem, there's no breed of adventure "Ducktales" cannot comfortably tap into.  Another thing to consider is its place in history; almost every other show on this list owes its existence to one degree or another to this show, which proved to be exactly the sort of powerhouse success story the Disney TV studio needed in order to prove its chops, and that means "Ducktales" holds a special place in animation history too, given how much Disney TV has played a part in it as a whole.  And naturally, there's the animation to consider too; it may seem a touch standard-issue today, but compare "Ducktales" to just about any other contemporary cartoon of its era, and you'll realize just how much care goes into keeping characters on model and letting them movie not just fluidly, but also in a way that's enjoyable to watch.  And last but hardly least, there's the stellar cast of characters (and voice actors); Huey, Dewey, and Louie may all be interchangeable, but their dynamic is lively and enjoyable anyway.  Webby, meanwhile, is a fantastic foil, not only for them, but for Uncle Scrooge.  And naturally, Scrooge himself (given an iconic performance by the late, great Alan Young) is just fantastic, a multi-layered, larger-than-life character who is nonetheless so much fun to simply spend time with you never want to stop.  But the thing of it is, "Ducktales"' real claim to #1 is a bit harder to quantify than all that, because even as it excels on just about every level, it doesn't have, say, the same depth of theme and character as "Gravity Falls", or "Gargoyles"' tapestry of plot lines and character arcs.  Its animation is certainly high quality, especially for the time, but it's not that much better than "Adventures of the Gummi Bears".  And yet, even so, "Ducktales" is the one everyone remembers, and I feel like that comes down to it adding up to something more than just the sum of its parts.  There really is this unique, ineffable energy to "Ducktales" that is equal parts charming, endearing, exciting, and thrilling, and it enhances each and every one of the things the show already does so well to a special level all its own.  Some of that can be chalked up to nostalgia, sure, but a lot of it, I think, can also be ascribed to the sheer sense of discovery innate to the show.  Not simply in the various people and places our heroes encounter (though there's that too, naturally), but in the fact that this new effort on Disney's part was hitting its stride, and in so doing opening up a whole new world of possibilities, for the show itself and for the future.  Which is maybe being a touch too grandiose about it, but even so, "Ducktales" has endured enough to make me think there may be something to it.  And hey, if literally nothing else, it really does have one humdinger of a theme song.  

[longforgottenunofficial]

When the Spooks Have a Midnight Jamboree

They say that whatever music you loved when you were 17, that's the music you will love the rest of your life.  For Buddy Baker, who wrote the music for the Haunted Mansion, that would be 1935.  For X. Atencio, who wrote the lyrics to "Grim Grinning Ghosts," it's 1936.  That's just an interesting factoid to keep tucked away as you read what follows. No one doubts that a big part of the Mansion's appeal is its superb musical scoring.  The "Grim Grinning Ghosts" tune, written by Buddy Baker, appears in numerous arrangements throughout the ride, and however much it's rearranged and recast, it always sounds creepy.  Magic!

The lyrics are not exactly Shakespeare.  Actually, the title is Shakespeare.  The phrase "grim grinning ghost" appears in line 933 of the epic poem, "Venus and Adonis." "Hard-favour'd tyrant, ugly, meagre, lean, Hateful divorce of love,"—thus chides she Death,— "Grim grinning ghost, earth's worm, what does thou mean To stifle beauty and to steal his breath, Who when he liv'd, his breath and beauty set Gloss on the rose, smell to the violet? Too bad it wasn't in line 999.  Whether X borrowed the phrase consciously and deliberately or plucked it from a subconscious memory of his readings in Shakespeare—who knows? Anyway, there is no point in pretending that the lyrics are poetry with a capital P.  The graveyard jamboree scene (the only place you hear the lyrics sung) is not conducive to hearing a song with any kind of narrative.  "Grim Grinning Ghosts" is calculated so that someone can hear a line here or a piece of a phrase there and still get the general idea of ghosts and ghoulies coming out to party.  Except for the tagline at the end of each verse, you could almost put the rest of the lines in a hat and reorder them at random. [Edit 8/13: But see now the argument by T. Hartwell in the Comments.]  The song is a laundry list of spooky phenomena, explained at the end of each verse as ghosts coming out to socialize.  The arrangement is suitably rollicking and undeniably catchy: Grim Grinning Ghosts [Audio Link]

Grim Grinning Ghosts When the crypt doors creak and the tombstones quake, Spooks come out for a swinging wake. Happy haunts materialize, 
 And begin to vocalize. Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize.

Now don't close your eyes and don't try to hide. Or a silly spook may sit by your side. Shrouded in a daft disguise. They pretend to terrorize. Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize.

As the moon climbs high o'er the dead oak tree, Spooks arrive for the midnight spree.
 Creepy creeps with eerie eyes, 
 Start to shriek and harmonize. 
 Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize.

When you hear the knell of a requiem bell, 
 Weird glows gleam where spirits dwell. 
 Restless bones etherialize, Rise as spooks of every size.(Laughter)

Incidentally, those singing busts have official names, which are on the blueprints and the film strips for each one (before things went digital).  Left to right you've got Rollo Rumkin, Uncle Theodore, Cousin Algernon, Ned Nub, and Phineas P. Pock.  We've already met Rollo and Phineas as tombstones in the original outside queue.  "Cousin Algernon" is the name of a character in the Oscar Wilde play, "The Importance of Being Earnest."  There was originally going to be a sixth bust, Aunt Lucretia, but they went with an all-male chorus, and Aunt Lucretia found useful employment elsewhere in the Mansion.

But let's get back to our topic.  When it comes to comic songs about ghosts and goblins coming out to party, the first one that comes to most people's minds is probably "The Monster Mash," but long before that record came out the theme was popular.  In fact, the heyday of such songs was the 1930's and 40's.  If you listen to some of those, you're probably hearing the inspirational roots that led to GGG.  Put another way, GGG is part of an established genre of novelty songs rooted in the 30's and 40's.  At times, the lyrics to some of these songs come so close that you could almost suspect direct inspiration, but there are no smoking guns that I know of.  Nevertheless, I've highlighted a few such lines in what follows.  These songs are a real kick to listen to, whatever the excuse for doing so.

The Skeleton in the Closet [Audio Link]

There's an old deserted mansion on an old forgotten road, Where the better ghosts and goblins always hang out. One night they threw a party, in a manner à la mode, And they cordially invited all the gang out. At a dark bewitching hour, when the fun was loud and hearty, A notorious wallflower became the life of the party. The spooks were having their midnight fling, The merry making was in full swing, They shrieked themselves into a cheerful trance, When the skeleton in the closet started to dance. Now a goblin giggled with fiendish glee, A shout rang out from a big banshee, Amazement was in every ghostly glance. When the skeleton in the closet started to dance. All the witches were in stitches, while his steps made rhythmic thumps, And they nearly dropped their broomsticks when he tried to do the bumps. You never heard such unearthly laughter, or such hilarious groans, When the skeleton in the closet rattled his bones.

That's Satchmo himself, of course, Louis Armstrong, from the soundtrack of the 1936 film, Pennies from Heaven.  The similarity of theme between "Skeleton" and GGG is obvious.

Swingin' at the Séance [Audio Link]

In a house up on a rock along the countryside, At precisely twelve o’clock the spooks begin to rise. Swingin’ at the seance, twelve ticks, Swingin’ at the seance, hot licks, With the medium in trance, How that horn began to dance. Swingin’ at the seance, five men, Swingin’ at the seance, jive men, When the trumpet blasted out, All the spooks began to shout. That music came through so sweetly low-down, Yet nobody knew who was riff-riff-riffin’ around. Swingin’ at the seance, black coats, Swingin’ at the seance, blue notes, While the trumpet could have won a cup, Its jivin’ broke the seance up, And who do you think was a riffin’ away? No one else but Billy May.

That's the Glenn Miller Orchestra, with Dorothy Claire, in 1941.  Looks like it may have been written by Billy May.

The Headless Horseman [Audio Link]

Now, gather ‘round while I elucidate On what happens outside when it gets late. ‘Long about midnight the ghosts and banshees Get together for their nightly jamboree. There’s ghosts with horns and saucer eyes, And some with fangs about this size. Some short and fat, some tall and thin, And some don’t even bother to wear their skin. I’m a-tellin’ you brother, it’s a frightful sight Just to see what goes on in the night.

When the spooks have a midnight jamboree, They break it up with fiendish glee. Ghosts are bad, but the one that's cursed Is the Headless Horseman, he's the worst.

When he goes a-joggin' 'cross the land, Holdin' a noggin in his hand, Demons take one look and groan, And hit the road for parts unknown.

And there's no wraith like a spook that's spurned. They don't like him, and he's really burned. He swears to the longest day he's dead, He'll show them that he can get a head.

So close all the windows, lock the doors, Unless you’re careful, he’ll get yours. Don’t think he’ll hesitate a bit, ‘Cause he’ll flip your top if it’ll fit.

And he likes them little, likes them big, Part in the middle, or a wig, Black or white or even red, The Headless Horseman needs a head.

With a hip-hip and a clippity-clop, He's out lookin' for a top to chop, So don't stop to figure out a plan, You can't reason with a headless man.

So after dark he’ll get the goods. Head home, the way that you should, ‘Cause right outside, a-waitin’ there, Is the Headless horseman.  Beware!

Now we're closer to home.  This was sung by Bing Crosby in Disney's The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949).  Nothing at all against Bing, but I prefer this version by Kay Starr, released only a few months after the original Crosby version.  Kay's lyrics are slightly different, as you can see, since I've printed the BC version.  When she and those background singers get to "...what goes on in the nighhhhht" you know you got your money's worth for THAT record.

The Haunted House [Audio Link]

When the doors all squeak And the windows creakAnd the ceilings leak ‘Cause the roof’s antiqueAnd you hear a shriek And your legs feel weak— It’s a haunted house

There’s a dismal moan Like a weird trombone And the old hambone Is suddenly thrown You are all alone With the great unknown In the haunted house

There’s only one good spirit, it’s the spirit in the bottle. With shaking hands you pull the cork and pour some down your throttle.

There’s a clank of chains And a smell of brains And a gory stain Where the Duke was slain And you’ve got chilblains And varicose veins In the haunted house.

When the old oak beam Feels a corpse [?], you seem To feel a wet stream With a sinister gleam And you wake with a scream From a horrible dream Of the haunted house.

When the cavalier With the dreadful leer Tried to disappear Through the chiffonier And you cling with fear To the chandelier It’s a haunted house.

The air is full of clammy claws that clutch you by the collar. So gargle night and morning just in case you have to holler.

There are lights and sprites And awful frights In flesh-pink tights But the dead of night Comes a woman in white So you’re quite all right In the haunted house.

When the old church clock Strikes twelve, there’s a knock. With a sudden shock You remember the lock On the door is a crock— Oh, why did you mock? At the haunted house.

It is black as pitch And your eyeballs twitch In the darkest niche Sits a dirty witch And the lighting switch Is out of reach In the haunted house.

When the slavey’s filled with gravy why is she so pallid? Something pushed her in the pantry when she fetched the salad.

“I’m filled with dread. Yes I’m nearly dead. I saw a head Underneath my bed. Come out if you can. I could do with a man In the haunted house.”

That's the oldest one of the bunch (almost: see below).  1931, Ray Noble and the New Mayfield Orchestra.  It's British, and there are a couple of pop culture references in there that are hard to decipher at this distance.  "Slavey" is slang for any menial servant.  What the flesh-pink tights are all about, I don't know [Edit: see comments].  The opening line is startlingly like GGG, and the structure of the song is similar: a litany of spooky phenomena with an explanatory line repeated at the end of each verse.  No partying spooks in there, however. This list could easily be extended by quite a bit.  You can buy a whole CD full of these '30s-'40s novelty ghost tunes.  But you get the idea.  "Grim Grinning Ghosts" features a contemporary arrangement (for 1969), but it feels right at home with some of these old chestnuts, don't it? Reader Melissa has directed our attention to a Gilbert and Sullivan ditty that may be the granddaddy of all these songs, and as it happens, it's a very good match to GGG in a number of ways.  The laundry list of spooky phenomena followed by an explanatory final line.  The topic?  Ghosts having a midnight jamboree.  The repeated lines at the end of each stanza explain that to us.  This is a lot like GGG.

When the Night Wind Howls by: W.S. Gilbert (1836-1911)

When the night wind howls In the chimney cowls,  And the bat in the moonlight flies And the inky clouds Like funeral shrouds, Sail over the midnight skies--

When the footpads quail At the night-bird’s wail, And black dogs bay at the moon, Then is the spectre’s holiday-- Then is the ghost’s high noon!

Ha! Ha!

Then is the ghost’s high noon! As the sob of the breeze Sweeps over the trees And the mists lie low on the fen, From grey tomb-stones Are gathered the bones

That once were women and men, And away they go, With a mop and a mow, To the revel that ends too soon, For cock crow limits our holiday-- The dead of the night’s high noon!  

Ha! Ha!

The dead of the night’s high noon! And then each ghost With his ladye-toast To their church yard beds take flight, With a kiss, perhaps, On her lantern chaps, And a grisly grim, “good night!”

Till the welcome knell Of the midnight bell Rings forth its jolliest tune, And ushers in our next high holiday-- The dead of the night’s high noon!  

Ha! Ha! 

The dead of the night’s high noon!

W. S. Gilbert (1836-1911) Taken from: Ruddigore: or, The Witch’s Curse (London: G. Bell & Sons, 1912)

We will revisit this song and go into greater detail in THIS post.

Originally Posted: Friday, August 13, 2010 Original Link: [x]

[kotorno]

I watched the Adventure Time finale...

I’m proud that show was able to last as long as it did, especially with just how... kind of batshit insane the production got in its later seasons. I’m glad it kickstarted the careers of many great creators who have gone either to helm or create their own unique and diverse shows. I can tell that, at least in the early days, there was a big brewing pot of ideas and the “anything goes” mentality allowed different creators to tackle what they wanted with the program. The likes of many popular shows today are either rooted or inspired and admired by this show. And that’s fantastic. The finale was underwhelming. Truthfully I never really kept up with the show, so that’s probably part of it. AT came on the air when I was in college and when I wasn’t busy with games, studies, etc. the only show I tended to really watch at the time was Phineas and Ferb (and you can mock me all you want about that, I still stand by that that was a great show (that also had a nice run... until either Disney or the creators are trying to ruin it/recreate it without being the same show with their new product, but that’s another dumb talk for another time)). Adventure Time would have initially premiered when I was in my Junior of college, so yeah, probably didn’t watch it that much but respected a lot of the voice talent and kind of silly style the show had going for it. I’d watch it on and off through the years and get invested in some of the bigger multiparters such as the return of the Lich (never really understood it too much other than it was just evil), the really cute relationship Finn had with the Flame Princess until someone went “we don’t know how to write this and this is a show about adventure!” so they kind of just... stomped on that, and then the introduction of the being known as Prismo, who was pretty dang cool. A good friend of mine and I began bonding over cartoons because we watched a lot of them. Cartoons are, by in large, vehicles for everyone. They get this bad rep that they’re “kid’s stuff” and I can see why if you have stupidly easy to produce shows that just rely on fart jokes or the like. But we didn’t really see that. This drove us both back to watch Adventure Time, since we wanted to catch up on all the current cartoons. The episode we ended up watching... I think it was a two-parter, was about Finn’s dead-beat dad and getting him out of jail so he could then... betray his son to go somewhere? They killed off Prismo (at least for now), Finn lost an arm, and it seemed like things were getting tense. ...then Finn grew an arm back a few episodes later like, “lol, nothing bad happened.” For both of us, though my friend was already bothered by the two-parter we had watched, we kind of viewed the show has not really wanting to take itself seriously. Like there was this sense that yes, they wanted to have high stakes. Yes, they wanted to create this big expansive story (that the creator of the show kind of just said didn’t really exist or wasn’t extremely fleshed out when the show began, it was just a fun weird idea he had). But it seemed like someone burst into the writing room and went, “NO, WE CAN’T DO THAT. WE NEED TO REVERT IT BACK TO A FUN HAPPY JOLLY ADVENTURE” This seems to have persisted for the rest of the show’s duration.

Random side characters would be brought back, changed up, revived, killed off again, all for the sense of some kind of “drama” but then episodes would go “lol forget that happened” as if the writers were literally fighting with each other on what the hell they wanted to do now that most of their founding talent had moved onto other projects. Not to say anything bad of the last few seasons, but it just seems no one was willing to compromise to make something vaguely coherent. I realize that’s hilarious given that the first few episodes are anything but, but that seems to come from again a time when the series really wasn’t MEANT to have a large overarching narrative. I think with a lot of shows that have appeared since then, everyone just assumes “oh, this is a big overarching story with a beginning, middle and end and we’re just getting pieces of it at a time” such as the like with Steven Universe, the recent Ducktales reboot and parts of Gravity Falls. But I think the proof is in the pudding: This isn’t a “grand scheme, J.K. Rowling had most of the ideas for Harry Potter set out when she wrote the first book,” this is more of a, “Nomura realized he was going to make more Kingdom Hearts games and had to write by the seat of his pants in order to make a long narrative, making up new crap as he goes along.” There’s nothing wrong with that second one when done correctly, lots of older shows such as Star Trek: TNG were able to do this pretty competently. But when I think about it I think back to college when an old roommate and I were discussing the manga, “Bleach” which was beginning(?) or at least had signs of wrapping up at the time. I argued that Bleach overstayed its welcome, had horrendous pacing issues, and was plaguing itself with the most (at the time) bloated ending (which ended up NOT being the ending, fancy that). My roommate argued that once the series was completed, he would reread it and he was sure it would all make sense read as one package rather than the weekly updates we got.

So a few years passed and Bleach finally ended. My former roommate set himself out to do this task. He was kind of disappointed to find out that what I had said was true: The pacing got sloppy after a certain point, new powers get introduced pretty much at random, and fights last for goddamn ever (and this is the MANGA) leading to a really “meh” ending that feels extremely forced... after two other arcs that also felt extremely forced since they go against that proposed “what everyone thought would be” ending.

I feel like Adventure Time will be viewed in a similar light in the future. From the limited knowledge I have, it seems the “writers fighting over” what to do with Finn, Jake and the characters did indeed happen. There were plans for a movie, then it got canceled, then they tried to revive it, then they wanted to do specials and finally they just got a few more seasons. While I’m sure some would say, “well of course Cartoon Network would give them more seasons, it’s their most popular show!” Well it isn’t anymore. It hasn’t been for a while. The fact the show got a few more seasons seems more on good faith of “this product was good in the past, maybe it can still shine” they say as they cram Teen Titans Go literally to everywhere on their schedule. By the time my friend and I had watched the episode with Finn’s dad, Steven Universe had become huge on the network and many fans of AT, who liked some of one of the main original writer’s stories for that show, switched over to their new show instead. Cartoon Network was also premiering new shows around this time with We Bare Bears and Clarence, which had their own form of a humor that was relatable (like the ones found in AT) but without having a confusing as heck backstory/world. These shows became pretty popular because they did things without even making a fuss out of them (one of the characters in Clarence has two moms, and no one questions it, it’s just acceptance. There’s even a joke in that show about one of the characters waiting for a blind date, sees a hot guy and gets excited, then finds out he’s actually on a dinner date with his boyfriend/husband, it’s honestly masterly crafted). This kind of left AT in the dust for a bit as it’s weird show was becoming more serialized to the akin of the later seasons of Spongebob -- When in doubt, do something weird, or dumb or maybe shock-value (substitute for Spongebob’s gross-out humor) just to get views.

It seems the dust finally settled as the writers were able to come up with SOMETHING in order to end plot threads that were set up or messed up or whatever. Did you know Ice King was a regular human from before an apocalyptic war? It was a pretty cool reveal. Cool. Now there’s just a magic time portal for some reason and he’s no longer cursed for a bit and his wife is here. Oh, but he’s Ice King again and doesn’t remember her so... his wife will just wander the wilderness or something now? Okay... Jake’s an alien now. In hindsight, sure, it makes sense, but it feels like many of these ideas are just thrown at the wall for the sake of making “lore” when it’s really just making random crap up to make the show feel more “deep.” (Seriously, go look at the Kingdom Hearts plot to see the master of this craft.)

In the end, the finale wraps with a war... or not... it just kind of devolves into this thing for a bit where Finn has to confront his fears one last time, Bubblegum (who was just kind of shit on a bit from the writers during the later seasons) has to fight her uncle?? But then they make peace, and then a giant demon shows up for some reason because Ice King’s wife summoned it. Why did she summon it? What was the purpose? “Well I wanted my husband back” yeah ok, but... giant demon? The f*ck? Then through the power of music they kind of banish it... it’s... weird. I mean it makes sense for the show, and it’s definitely not a terrible episode. But it feels like they really wanted to play up, “LOOK AT THIS EPIC TALE WE’VE WEAVED, YOU BETTER HAVE NOTICED ALL THE DETAILS!!” for their last shebang. And that’s really the problem: The show was never set up like that to begin with. It was set up as a funny show with silly gags and interesting locales for characters to explore from episode to episode. If they ever did something that had consequences (in the earlier seasons at least) something would be done with a quick explanation of dialogue or something that gave the viewer indication as to what was going on, so they wouldn’t be lost. If you’ve watched Steven Universe at all, this show does it pretty brilliantly. Even with more recent episodes that have become heavily story-driven, you can start an episode without having seen ANY of the previous and it’s easy to work your way into. Having that previous knowledge helps, but the shows are constructed in a way that you shouldn’t have to do that unless you want to. Maybe because this was a finale, that’s why they could get away with it? ...but Gravity Falls had a finale too. It put in a lot of references to past episodes and things that happened in the series. You can still watch that finale without having seen any of the series. There’s no big bar that holds you back as to “why is this happening.” You learn character motivations, importance of items, etc. quickly in how it’s established. I know that sounds really selfish, “well it’s a finale for THIS show, and they should reward longtime viewers” and sure, fine. But the way Gravity Falls did it also didn’t alienate newer viewers either?

We’ll see what time has to say on it when people begin bringing it up to their kids or when past kids look in on it in just a few years who may have never seen the show. Maybe I’m 100% wrong. But I feel that it’s a show that, like Bleach, should have ended while it was ahead, at least a few years back. Luckily unlike Bleach, it’s still an enjoyable conclusion. But it definitely feels like a hollow shell of its former self. (But hey Marceline and Bubblegum becoming an item is actually cool and some of the scenes with them at the end are really cute so that’s a good plus, and Beemo (the best character) became a king so not everything’s terrible... just mediocre besides those points.)

[daemominus]

entry .07

[ .headcanon: Yamato ]

Vergil’s most cherished possession, the one thing he may willingly sacrifice, and fight tooth and nail, for---the one heirloom left to him by his father, brimming with sentimentality and a hidden, faded memory. A blade forged in Hell, made to replicate a Japanese katana, Yamato has been imbued with dark, demonic force as originally commissioned by Sparda. Though the blade was not of his personal making, he’d overseen its birth with special care, a scrutinizing eye, and specific properties for it meant to meet application, be it in appearance or functionality, or what have you. A specifically custom designed sword, the Yamato is truly one of a kind, and that’s not even counting the singular fact that it has the capability of opening and shutting Hell Gates. This is likely something Sparda had managed with help from another, perhaps someone not as imposing as himself for the sake of keeping this power on a need-to-know basis. Yamato was not forged with this power, but rather gifted it later on---though not too late, as I suspect this was something Sparda had always wanted from the beginning.

He might have consulted Phineas on this, maybe even asked for his direct involvement. In any case, it took little time for the blade to become the very thing that its wielder had intended for it. And all of this was well before he’d met Eva. The sword was meant to be his, for his own use, and he’d used it for a good while alongside his other arms. Rebellion, I suspect, had come along later, and in time both swords were wielded quite frequently. The Yamato is a few thousand years old at best, and one might find it unusual that it bears the appearance of a modern katana. The styling was no doubt inspired by human culture, so the facts are a little bit disjointed here. I would suspect Yamato’s appearance had gone changing with the progression of human culture. Demonic forces would likely have been able to manipulate inanimate mass to a degree---Yamato might have looked terribly different when it was forged before the earliest katana had seen creation in Japan. With every reworking, Yamato would too change in appearance. Of course, there’d come a point when Yamato would be retired; Sparda would have put it away, and its upkeep would have met a pause for a while.

Cue his treachery, the siring of offspring, and Sparda would give the Yamato one last “upgrade.” Sparda had found that he required the dark-forged blade less and less (perhaps in favor over Rebellion?), and it was when he knew he would become a father that he decided to pass on the blade to someone who would potentially give it the attention it was worthy of. In that spirit, he prepared the Yamato for his child---he wasn’t aware of twins until some time later (though he’d had some omniscient inclination), and even then he was resolved to allow Yamato to fall into the hands of a descendant. Of course, the choice was his: one of his two young would prove fortunate to inherit Yamato’s power, while one would not (in consequence, they would have Rebellion, as Sparda would have distanced himself from combat, war; his duties as Mundus’ right hand terminated).

And all through the changing times, Yamato had not seen decay. Its power had not diminished, nor had its steel lost its edge. A modern scabbard had been found (or made) to match it, to present a complete fresh package. And so, it fell into Vergil’s hands. Let’s just say Sparda found the qualities he sought.

The child found fascination with the weapon the moment he’d laid innocent eyes on it. Just simple childish curiosity at first? A mix of things, most likely: his innate, supernatural instincts pulled him toward it. This thing appealed to him, and he’d coveted it whenever he would look upon it. Not yet his at this stage, but tantalizingly close. Sparda had left his arms displayed in his study, and Vergil had always wanted to reach for the Yamato. The more interest he showed, the more willing Sparda had become to let the boy touch it. The moment physical contact was initiated, a connection formed. Something spiritual, intangible, almost magnetic in nature---and all part of Sparda’s forethought. From then on, Yamato was as good as Vergil’s. The ties had becoming binding.

Now, Sparda should have probably known all along that Yamato would be Vergil’s to wield. The mark on his back should have been obvious, at least if it was there since birth. There’s a discrepancy to be found, though, considering Sparda is a very smart demon, and it would make little sense for him not to know that Yamato would go to Vergil if the evidence was pressed clearly into his skin. On the other hand, we could just say that neither of the twins bore any marks until they claimed their weapons. Vergil received Yamato very early, earlier than Dante, and he could have very well earned the mark of the Yamato after he’d held it for the first time. My guess was that this would have been painless, probably occurring overnight, if we’re going to go down this route. It’s practical, it makes more sense: an unborn nephilim would not have much reason at all to bear the mark of a weapon unknown to them; plus, the weapon itself belonged to another, and it would not have been aware of its wielder’s intentions for it. So, I’m not actually sure...? My preference always lied with Vergil being marked from birth, as impractical and illogical as that is. For now, let’s say that stands.

Shit hits the fan rather quickly after this. With Paradise raided, his mother dead, Vergil is separated from his brother and left in a very human, non-corrupt orphanage by his father. Yamato is left with him, rather than being hidden away by Sparda in some inaccessible, secret nook in Limbo or some such place. Sparda reasons it’s safer, that both the sword and the boy will be secure in each other’s presence than if the two were also to be separated. Aside from that, there’s a great sentimental motivator on Sparda’s behalf. After centuries of wielding the Yamato, the sword has been left an imprint of Sparda’s life force. Faint though it may be, it serves as a spiritual memory of the child’s father. Not so much a memory like we know, that we can picture, but a stirring inside. Something more of the soul than the mind. Of course, being a spiritual thing, it’s all the more obscure. Hard to understand, harder to remember. Being near Yamato gives Vergil comfort. It makes him feel safe, gives him a sense of familiarity. These feelings are deeply rooted, impossible to shake, and Sparda had intended for the sword to affect his son in such a way so that Vergil would not forget him. Though the memory of Sparda would slip from his mind (almost) absolutely, he would always have that part of his father there, within Yamato. Not through power or ability, but through nothing more than an imprint of fatherly devotion. And though Vergil would not know the reason for these feelings, and the subsequent attachment to the sword, he accepted them, as he would interpret them as something of significance.

Sparda had also known that, in time, Vergil would come to remember, and whenever that would come to pass, his son may finally be able to tap into the memory hidden within Yamato---or understand it, at least. When Sparda leaves his son, and leaves the blade in his care, he’s confident the two will never part. He trusts the young boy deeply, confident in his instincts more so than in his reasoning. Evidence is almost immediately apparent, when orphanage workers and personnel make repeated attempts to take the weapon from the child, and all this obviously out of care for him. They didn’t want him hurt, nor should he ever hurt others on accident, but he would not accept these arguments. His attachment to the sword, Sparda’s influence aside, led to volatile reactions whenever someone would reach for it. And no use of trickery would fool him, either: he wouldn’t let go of the damned thing for anything. Physically, he would cling to the blade; eyes glaring, lips pursed, and his otherwise mild voice screaming for mercy whenever someone pleaded with him to hand it over. However, remove the threat, and he would becalm himself. The alteration in his behavior was striking, it was unusual---he displayed a territorial drive that was unlike most children’s. A natural thing to expect from one not human, but no one was ever the wiser.

In time, the adults at the orphanage learned to leave him be. They came to accept that Vergil had simply not ever harmed himself with the blade, nor had they ever witnessed him unsheathe it. He was strangely respectful toward it, even gentle, but he would still keep it nearest him at all times. When it came to sleep, he fearlessly brought it to bed with him. A source of comfort, Yamato helped relax him in an environment where he had no place. It was the only familiar thing he’d had, aside from his amulet (which lacked the same sentimental imprint), and it made his days a forsaken child easier. He would be adopted eventually, and Yamato prevailed at his side.

Although it was made of demonic elements, and fed the same throughout its existence, it bore the undiscovered, innate capability of channeling a nephilim’s angelic power. Vergil’s, namely, as it would respond to no other in the same way as it had with him. Vergil’s own inherited forces and powers had made it possible for the dark-forged weapon to facilitate the expenditure of his divine power, becoming an extension of himself in almost every measure. Vergil had bonded with the sword in a way that his father had not, and through this alone he’d managed to expand upon its potential. The blade recognized his mastery, thus recognizing him. In turn, Vergil would recognize the Yamato effortlessly. The thing virtually surged with life---much of its current wielder’s life force had permeated through the blade, and still a small amount of Sparda’s lingered there. Vergil can sense the sword, more or less, according to proximity. The closer they are, the more of it he feels; like a pair of souls, they are in sync with one another, but it must be remembered that Yamato is no less inanimate than the sheath that protects it. Yamato has become conditioned to react specifically to Vergil in every precise way. His individuality has marked it, and thus it lends itself for easier control. He knows what to expect of it.

Despite Vergil still being very young, not nearly as mature or seasoned as his father had become when he’d set it aside, he has formed a deep, impenetrable connection with this ancient heirloom. He has become increasingly territorial with the blade, and more protective over it than he would with anyone. He treats it well, takes time out of every day to maintain it. The blade is highly respected, appreciated, and prized. He understands what powers lie within, and that these are forces which he should not handle haphazardly. He bears a great responsibility wielding a blade capable of interacting with Hell Gates, and he is as careful as he’s ever been to keep Yamato out of covetous, ill-intended hands. Furthermore, this power is reserved for him, only, as he views Yamato as purely his, rightly his, and not even Sparda could pry it from his fingers any longer. Should the demon ever reappear to reclaim what he had created, Vergil would deny him. If a quarrel must erupt, then it must: Yamato has become a thing too near and too dear for him to lose.

Whenever he should die, he hopes the blade will not be far.

[barbosaasouza]

Which Of These Cartoons On Disney+ Has The Best Bad Guys?

Many of us love to root for the heroes that's just what we're taught to do. But honestly, it's the villains that really shake things up and make movies and television interesting. When you think about it, these villains aren't always pure evil. Sometimes, they're just really misunderstood. With Disney Plus' wide array of animated series from over the years, it raises the important question: Who are the best Disney cartoon villains of all time? You could make an argument for Hades, who appears in Disney's spinoff animated series Hercules. When he's not brewing a diabolical plan, he's actually pretty hilarious. Or maybe you're more of a Dr. Doofenshmirtz fan, whose lack of logic makes for some ridiculous antics on Phineas and Ferb. If superhero shows are more your thing, any one of the Marvel animated series streaming on Disney Plus should have more epic villains than you know what to do with. This list includes the shows that have the most dubious, dastardly, and memorable Disney cartoon villains on Disney Plus. Keep reading to learn more about the baddies that made these Disney cartoons even better. Vote up the shows you think have the best bad guys! Which Of These Cartoons On Disney+ Has The Best Bad Guys? published first on https://superworldrom.tumblr.com/